December 31, 2015

Goodbye 2015

So it's a final wrap up of 2015.  Hope you have a memorable year! 
As I look through my posts from this year....I guess I can say my 2015 was pretty AMAZING!

*See HERE for my 2014 End of Year Post. 

I now have a 10 and 5 year old whom are intersecting more and more into my life.  My title at work keeps allowing me to grow and climb ladders in the corporate world.  This website has engaged more of you and I LOVE IT! My financial house has improved tremendously and I am starting to invest in the new year.  I am getting better with my diet and exercise although, turning down pork chops and fatty snacks is still tough for me.  I have made valuable friendships and connected even closer with the ones I made previous years.  Many of the friends around me are getting engaged, married, or celebrating being single.  While I enjoy the single life, I still subconsciously am preparing for my future husband...even though some of the men I have come across this year have, above it all, I had a great year! Oh AND....I finally got my sister to come to church!  Well, only for the Christmas Eve service but, still a huge triumph!

Do I have any goals for 2016?
Of course, continuing to build my brand and...

Educate myself even further.
Plus, I recently had a dream that I obtained one of my major goals.  Now, I am not much of a dream interpreter; I did do some research on how dreams reveal un-surfaced wants, needs, fears, and future insights but, I do not want to discuss too much of my dream just in case it is a matter of time before it becomes real.  I will just mention this, I am most likely a lot closer to my goals than what I think right now. 

I am not sure who came up with this or if it is just an unspoken common thought but, I am definitely going to start this Money Challenge this week and by next Christmas, maybe my children can get some extra cruise? We shall see.

*Google Images

*Lesson learned: I used to see a guy who felt that I was obligated to pay for his expenses.  He would try to guilt me and make me feel like I was a horrible person for not being more willing to help him out of HIS problems. (He was the kind of man who was used to women doing everything for him because of his looks, don't get me wrong, this man is 6'6 and gorgeous, well, the last time I saw him he was still good looking, not sure about now.  So, I have accepted my faults for being superficial...It's safe to say my communication with him did not last long and I stopped answering his calls.  My bank has been smiling ever since.

See you in 2016!

December 23, 2015

So Wilde + The Mystery

"I never approve or disapprove of anything now. It is an absurd attitude to take toward life. We are not sent into the world to air our moral prejudices. I never take notice of what common people say and I never interfere with what charming people do. If a personality fascinates me, whatever mode of expression that personality selects is absolutely delightful to me."

- Oscar Wilde

*Coffee mug: RongRong Devoe

It is the simple things which create the best moments.

The Mystery

Ever since my initial post "Class + Style" I have been getting an abundance of emails and comments here and there about this 'mystery guy'.  It is not a mystery, he is a friend of mine and yes, we have shared romantic moments but, we still consider ourselves as friends.  And, yes, I do refer to him every now and then.  I empathize that some people may have concern about him for me but, with all that I do share with the world, there is much that I do not share for my own personal reasons...I am the one who is living this experience and although I can appreciate everyone's thoughts, I am the one who has to live out any decision I make regarding my friend. 

I know that it may be difficult for most people to comprehend our friendship but, with having bad memories from my last love spell, I am very adamant about building a friendship before anything can anyone create a life with someone and not truly enjoy the person?...I cannot stress enough how grateful I am to have cross paths with this man and we always mention or joke about how we met, how everything happens for a reason, and how all the decisions we made that day led us to be introduced.  We both have our own versions of it and we chuckle about it each time but, that is how our foundation started. 

I speak highly of him because I think highly of him.  He understands my mindset and the direction I am taking in life and he respects my space.  We may always just be friends and I am fine with that and he knows this.  It is all positive energy.  I may never divulge any details about our relationship because those matters are between us.  Even some of my close friends just get the basic information about him..."He's fine."..."Everything is great."..."I still like him."...etc.

So, you will not see his face or know his name unless there is good reason for it or if certain events occur.  I fully believe in respecting the privacy of others especially when it also involves my own privacy.  Anything that is revealed openly will because of our actions and decisions together.  Until then...We're good.

Any future questions or inquires about this subject, we are just going to revisit this post. Cool? Cool.

On Another Note: 

People seem to think I have a slew of men calling me or texting me trying to date me.  Well, my response is as follows...

I will admit I am very particular with whom I communicate with, even more particular when it comes to men.  Sometimes when a man realizes I have little time for him, or senses that my interest is obsolete, he usually ends up eliminating himself from the equation.  So no, I do not have dozens of suitors beating at my door, there are no flowers being delivered to my office, my phone is not constantly ringing, and my text message inbox is lackluster.  The only reason I have a lock on my phone is because my children are professional criminals.  (-____-)

In all fairness, I will respond to those who I want to respond to and reach out to those who I feel is worth reaching out to.  If a man does not hear from me, it does not necessarily mean there was something wrong with him...or there could be something wrong with him and I just don't have the patience to tell a grown man about himself...again, I am...particular and somewhat difficult...So, any man who gets upset with me about my disinterest towards him...I don't care. It's not to be heartless, I just have too much else to focus on rather than coddle your hurt feelings due to my choices and standards.

December 13, 2015

The Dream + The Difference

As many times as I have changed directions in life, my dreams and aspirations always remain the same; comfort and stability.  Simple...maybe.  To obtain these 'luxuries' one must continue to be consistent and disciplined.  Consistent to our evolution and disciplined to our future.  Do not stray from your morals or forget your lessons.  Your choices will vary and your teachers will not always take the same form.  Do not fall into the trap of the same experiences in hopes of a different result.  There is no true prediction of any outcome but, what you can be sure of is...yourself, don't fail that person.

Dress: H&M
Shoes: Guess

The Difference

Many of us go through different relationships.  Sometimes those whom we decide to become more comfortable with meet our friends and family; and our loved ones end up liking our chosen person...happens all the time...BUT, we must understand there is a difference between the connection this person has with our loved ones verses the relationship this person has with us. 

Example: Mary and John have been dating for several months. John introduced Mary to his parents and they love her but, somewhere down the line John and Mary do not work out and John meets Lisa.  John's parents do not like Lisa as much as they like Mary but, John proposes to Lisa.

The thoughts of your friends and family may have a small involvement of who you chose to be with but, in actuality, YOU are the one in the relationship with a person, your connections with someone run a bit more deeper than his/her connection with your family...I could be seeing someone and his family can love me dearly but, that does not mean he will choose ME as his wife.  There may be things about me that he notices which his family does not see that make him not want to marry me...We cannot compare ourselves to someone our ex has chosen to be with.  Just accept that the two of you do not have the same connection as he/she may have with this new person.

Just remember, always, ALWAYS, be presentable when meeting his family and friends and NEVER be someone you are not, they can see right through the bullsh*t.

I cannot wait until my kids bring home someone for me to meet....

December 10, 2015

Son + Spanglish Lesson

Happy 5th Birthday to my Son!

I was expecting you 
Months before we knew of you
I already chose your name
Because you are our Guardian
I stayed up with you
Early days and late nights
We listened to Mozart
And the Commodores
We had long conversations
About the world
About Atlantis
About the Heavens
You adore your sister
Love to snuggle with her
You used to pull her hair as a baby
She was annoyed by it
She would stay far from your reach
Now she makes you eggs each time you ask
And she tucks you in for bed
As I look around my floor
I see the remains of your imagination
Legos, cars, tablet, change, blankets, snacks
I know
I feel
You will be a great man
Because you are an amazing boy
We celebrate you today
My son
My love
My life
My Gabriel ♡

Birthday kisses and wishes.

Spanglish Lesson

If you have not seen this movie yet, YOU MUST!  It is not the usual Adam Sandler comedy (Sandler is actually quit refreshing in this move as a successful chef and doting father and husband.)  The movie is more so about a mildly dysfunctional family who goes through the mediocrity of wealthy living mixed in with a Mexican immigrant and her bright eyed daughter who identifies conflicts about odd American ways.

Anyway, I am not going to review the whole move, it is on regular television often and I have watched it over 10 times by now.  No, I just will mention the part that recently caught my attention the most.  There is a scene when the mother-in-law warns the wife about her extra marital affair.  She tells her daughter, 
"You are going to lose your husband if you do not stop what you are doing. And you will never find someone as good. There will only be men who you know are cheap and shallow and have no real warmth in their souls. You may have gotten by on their surfaces once but, you have been spoiled by a good man. If you do not act quickly, you soon cement an awful fate for yourself ...a life with no hope of repair..."

The idea of someone else identifying your self destruction and calling you out on it is... humane and chivalrous.  We make decisions everyday that design the blue print of our futures.  Are you making the right decision for the longevity of your heart or are you just satisfying it for the moment?

November 27, 2015

Not Versace + The Man Who Loves Her

This dress was a bargain find a Ross! 
Looks like something in the Versace line huh? 
Nope, it is straight from the dress wrack at the store less than 10 miles from home!
Cheers to that!

Ladies, we must understand that looking our best does not mean costing the most.  Being money conscious is a lot more attractive than being....well....the woman who says "I'm not sure how I'm going to pay my rent because of those shoes I bought last week for the party I went to last night because I knew he was going to be there." ain't that serious. There are plenty ways to style and restyle what you already have in your closet.

The Man Who Loves Her

Women will always be...difficult...but what really has me captured is the men who fall for us...Why?...And I am not only asking why about the women who seem almost impossible to be around...we know a few of those and I still cannot wrap my mind in how they find someone. Hey everyone needs to be loved right?...No, I am also asking why? for those eccentric women, the lively, can't sit still, fun loving, attention grabbing, business seeking, powerful women.  Would a man grow tired of her dominant character and how 'popular' she is with the masses?  A woman like this usually does not step aside or down for anyone if it does not benefit her future.  It truly takes a strong man to fully love a strong woman.

Iris Apfel - A fashion icon and business woman; the way her husband looked at her and spoke about her, he was so patient and loving to her strong personality, he accepted her for her and loved every bit of it. He passed in August 2015.  He was 100 years old.

Diane Von Furstenberg - Fashion designer; her husband is so smitten with her.  They met in the 70's and had a courtship for over 20 years before getting married in 2001.  She told a magazine that he waited 26 years for her to agree to marry him...while some men I know cannot even wait a few days before looking elsewhere.

Michelle Obama - First wife; we have seen many pictures and clips of how her husband adorns her with his affections.  They conspicuously compliment one another with modest tones.

Jada Pinkett-Smith - Actress, singer-songwriter, and business woman; her husband is always, always, speaking highly of her, showing PDA, and looking at her like he is seeing an angel for the first time.

Angelina Jolie - Actress and producer; let's not focus on how she met her husband over the fact that how her husband is forever by her side supporting her.

Victoria Beckham - Business woman; being no stranger to good looks himself, the husband of this woman is tight-lipped about their love but, he is never too far from her reach.

Just For Laughs:
Seems legit

November 25, 2015

Enjoying The World + Lovely Proposals

"Humanity takes itself too seriously.  It is  the world's original sin.   
If the caveman had known how to laugh, history would have been different."
- Oscar Wilde (Lord Henry)

Why must we make life so difficult?  You want to know how I know that everything will be just fine?

The Goonies and TLC.

Let me break it down.  These two things I mentioned are generational trademarks and there are plenty more I could have named.  I cannot speak for all of you but, when I think or reminisce of these things, I remember nothing but times when I was having fun, being happy, and enjoying life (aside for the tragedy of Left Eye.)  The worries of the world did not matter.  Even now that I am "adulting", I know cannot solve everyone's problems or expect everyone to think the way I do.  What I can do is accept the cards which were dealt to me either by divine intervention or as a result of my own decisions and actions and go forth using the knowledge I have obtained and utilizing the resources available to me.  So, as long as I remain positive on any outlook, there is no reason for me not to obtain what I want...what WE want.

It is going on 4 years since I left my toxic relationship and it has been THE BEST 4 YEARS EVER!  Granted, the first year I went through the "what the hell do I do now" phase but, as I started to get comfortable with my new life, making new friends and connections, I started to enjoy...everything.  I learned how "limited" I was before and how so much of me is capable of being AMAZING!

And as many of you know, I am taking my sweet time with finding the "lucky man" because I want to not only be sure of him but, of myself too.  I do not want to relationship hop or go back and forth with the same person.  Why do that?  Why waste the thought of being with someone else if you cannot let go of the one you keep reconnecting with?  Or why keep getting into relationships just to be in a new one months later?  Figure out what you want and stick to it.  Besides, it is much easier to explain 1 lover over a long period of time than several lovers over a short period of time to my future husband.

Lovely Proposals

Sigh....yet again, another friend has been proposed to.  Her beau took her on a trip to Hawaii for her birthday and popped the question while dining beach side...que in the sappy love songs...I am so happy for her, she is such a sweetheart and deserves to be loved like how her now fiance loves her...guess I'll be making a trip to Z Gallerie.

At work, some of my employees ask me "So when are you getting married?" I always laugh it off and say I have not found anyone that is crazy enough to love me employees have no idea how much of a mess I am! One day, I'll get there.  I think I want David Tutera to be my wedding planner...and Jesse Powell to sing my wedding song...or Lionel Richie if he's available.

This is how I am supposed to be thinking.
This is how I am REALLY thinking.

Just For Laughs: 
Psychology Humor 

November 22, 2015

Happiness in a Box + Teen Money Banking

It is that time of year again to get a new fresh pair of boots.  Look, you can take me out of the east coast but, you can't take the east coast out of me!  I'll show you how to do this Son!

Timberland X Dopeness

And of course, I am still studying investments....and detoxing...

Water / ACV / Cheyenne Pepper / Cinnamon / Honey / Lemon Juice

Some of the ingredients are optional but, definitely get your shot of ACV!
*I borrowed my Daddy's mug that he had engraved in Europe. Thanks Dad!

Teen Money Banking 

Can you take a wild guess what my kids will be receiving as one of their Christmas gifts?
I think this is an AWESOME idea!  There is nothing wrong with teaching your kids the fundamentals of saving and smart spending.  My daughter can check her account and as she gets older and better with money management, if she is out with her friends and needs a little extra cash, I can just log into the CapitalOne app and transfer money to her instantly!

P.S. - I used to have ING Direct which was a solely online banking option in America (the bank started in The Netherlands.)  Their US Corporate headquarters were based in Wilmington, DE.  I loved them, they had the best interest rates and the customer service was 2011, Capital One bought them out and ING became 360.  Although, I was not happy with this acquisition, I was pleased to learn that all my rates and benefits were grandfathered and there is a special customer service department for the old ING Direct holders. Yay!

OMG. I saw this, I had to share it!
Did someone say bacon?!

Also, have you notice the new "RECIPE" tab?  I decided share a few of my favorite recipes.  Try them out and email me with your thoughts and pictures!

November 20, 2015

Morticia + Low Maintenance


Top: N.Y.C
Shoes: Anne Michelle

Have you heard?  Black is the new black.
Never stray from wearing all black.  
It is actually a very attractive and seductive color if you wear it right.
Just ask Morticia Adams.

I went to a networking event at The Marque in CityCentre.  I made a few new connections, exchanged business cards and took some pictures.  Unfortunately, I could not stay long since I had another engagement to get to Downtown (which I missed due to traffic, a fashion show I was looking forward to for almost 2 months!  Damn Houston highways!)

Low Maintenance

So many men presume that if a woman carries herself a certain way, she must be high maintenance and requires a lot from her spouse.  Not least not in my case.  I only require as much from him as I require from myself.  If I support your decisions, support mine.  If I do nice things for you just because, do nice things for me.  If I surprise you with a weekend getaway, surprise me too.  If I call you just to tell you I love you, when are you planning to call?  If I make attempts to take you out of your rut, make attempts for me...BUT, I do require him to be very patient with me...for good reason.  I know at times I can be very stubborn.  I know at times I can be very callous and petty and childish and un-affectionate...well damn, maybe I don't deserved a husband...just bare with me and love me through all this.  I can assure you that I will not give you a valid reason not to have me. 

*P.S. - If I give you my attention and show you I am intrigued by you but, you still sense that I am keeping my guard up or trying to water down my feelings towards you, just remain patient and stick with me and definitely, DEFINITELY read between the lines.  Sometimes it can be very tricky to figure out if I really like you or if I just want you as a friend and only that.  Also, (and I may not mention it to you until you ask) if I notice something about you that I do not like or know I cannot live with, then I begin to slowly digress.  Text messages go unanswered, phone calls go unreturned, communication is very generic, etc.  I am very personable and I like to enjoy my time with people but, some men take my friendliness and my behavior towards them the wrong way and it becomes sweetheart, you can't have my heart...see message below...

Just For Laughs: 
Who had one of these? 

That flash in your eyes was not joke huh?!

Also, don't forget to vote for your favorite blogger! VOTE HERE.
Voting ends November 30th.

November 19, 2015

Piada + Stocks and Investing + VOTE

I attend a blogger brunch this week at Piada Italian Street Food.  The food was amazing!  I ordered the lobster bisque and the Italian Trio.  The ingredients were fresh and well prepared.  The whole idea of seeing your food being made in front of you is not a new concept but, it seems to be becoming very popular these days.  Hey, I have no complaints as long as the food is good, you won't hear a peep out of me!  You may see a little happy dance or some humming as I eat but, that's about it.  

I was dressed for work and nothing excitement here, reading glasses and all...but, I did meet some wonderful ladies who have great thoughts and ideas which they express on their own blogs:

Stocks and Investing

I wish I would have started doing this in my 20's but hey, at least I am taking interest now and I am still young enough to make a decent amount from the stock market if I do the research.  So as I understand it, there is no simple formula to the stock market, it is a emotional as a women on her...never get the drift...what I need to focus on is companies with a product or idea that could possible revolutionize our way of life...or at least make it more enjoyable.  I wish I had part of the original Google and eBay stocks! steps.  I am also re-configuring my monthly I spend so much in one month is beyond me!

Here are some notes I took: 
These seem very simple and obvious but, you would be surprised how many people do not think to do this...

1. Make a spread sheet of your monthly expenses - House, Car, Insurance, Childcare, Credit Cards etc., anything that is a definite

2. Calculate your take home amount (after taxes) and place it against your monthly expenses

3. Eliminate any memberships - the only thing memberships do is lock you in a payment contract with the 'benefit' of discount services.  With all the coupons, LivingSocial, and Groupon deals, you can always get a good price for whatever you are needing.

4. Keep at least 2 credit cards - having revolving accounts can help your credit score

5. Keep your credit card balances UNDER half of your credit limit - high balances take a major hit to your credit score

6. Always know how much is in your bank - track what is coming in and what is going out.  I look at all of my accounts at least once a day.

7. DO NOT impulse shop - I am guilty of this. There is no need to have another pair of pumps in a different color or a new dress that will only sit in your closet for the next 6 months.  If you are not going to use it right away, there is no need to go into your pockets.

*By the way: Barnes & Noble is my sanctuary.


So I recently found out that I have been nominated by Houston Fashion Bloggers as having one of the best lifestyle blogs!  How amazing is that!  Houston has an array of talented bloggers, I am so humbled to be nominated among them!

If you have some time, click on the VOTE HERE tab to select your favorites.  The last day to vote is November 30th.  Don't worry, no one but HFB Founders see your choices.

November 15, 2015

I Am Woman + Does Society Still Think This Way?

I immediately laughed when the man said, "Where is your husband?"
Because it was funny and because of the message or meaning behind it....

Yes, the husband is the provider of the home BUT, this does not mean a woman cannot provide as well.  I firmly believe that a wife should stand by her husband and support long as his choices do not hinder or destroy the family...and I still believe in some traditions in a marriage, a husband is to lead the wife and introduce her to the world as such BUT, a marriage is not one sided.  A wife is to also protect and support her husband and introduce him to the world as the man in her life who she looks to for love and companionship. 

Yet, in the essence of marriage, a wife should not lose herself.  There are parts of her life before the husband that she can still hold on to such as, work and friends.  Although, I am very busy with work, I do make time to catch up with my friends but, when I am married, I will not completely bid adieu to these parts of my life, I will just simply have to reorganize my time and not intentionally do anything that would hurt my marriage or have my husband think wayward of me.

Women wear pants too.

I do believe that in certain senses society still encourages women to acclimate to traditional 'house-wife', cooking, raising children, serving the husband, being classy, being accommodating to guests, etc.....I agree with ALL of these things.....but in complementary context.  There are two people in a marriage.  As much as I am expected do, I expect the same from my husband.  We are partners, if I am giving my all, he will need to as well.  If he gives me 50, that is only half of him, I want all of him.