Dating: UPDATED


Dating is something that I do not like to do, but I do it.....how else will I meet someone who is going to go through life obstacles with me, who will tell me I am full of shit when I don't know what I'm talking about, someone who smiles just seeing me smile, a lover who will kiss my forehead and play in my hair as I fall asleep, a gentleman who still opens the car door for me, a partner who won't back out when times get tough, a companion who will hold my hand through all of it. 


SERIAL DATING: I do not date multiple people at one time.  I like to give a person a reasonable time frame to figure out if this will be a romantic affair or just a friendship.  After we realize that it will only be a friendship and nothing more at the moment or ever, I then consider other prospects.  Yes, sex can complicate things especially, if the two of you have not spoken about what your thoughts or plans are of each other, but if you decide to have sex then you need to be ready for anything that may occur afterwards....a budding romance or a friendly "let's hang out" call every now and then.  Many of times people do not disclose that they are dating other people, maybe to save from hurt feelings (but that's where the issues begin...just let the person know what your intentions are.)  If I meet someone new and feel comfortable enough to sleep with him (I am particular with who I decide to be intimate with, I like to at least be sure that he will not be awkward about it later) I do not always assume that it will become something more after having sex.  I lean on verbal communication when it comes to those matters, yes we may see each other more and spend more time together, but if we do not have a talk about a relationship then there is none. 

PARENTS DATING: Some of the men I have met only met my children in passing, there was no "quality time" at presence.  I am grateful to have a supportive family who understands that I do need to meet people and open a different or new chapter in my life.  My son is still very young, but my daughter knows her father and I will not come back together so she encourages me to find someone who will love us all.  I do not believe in letting your kids meet the person you are dating right away until both of you have an understanding that the two of you are planing to move forth together as a couple. 

Or maybe, just maybe, it IS me...


Comments

Anonymous said…
You may not have as serious issues a you let yourself believe. We are all guarded and want to be careful with who we chose to be with. As far as pushing people away, the right one won't be pushed away.
Anonymous said…
Maybe you should be more affectionate. Who cares how the guy takes it and it's not desperate for a women to show affection. If a man gets weird about then he doesn't deserve the attention.
Raya L. said…
I should and I've been made aware of it. I like to think that the more I get comfortable with a person the more I am willing to be affectionate.
Raya L. said…
I like to think that as well, but some people will only try but so hard before the just finally walk away.
Sam said…
I think any man would like acffection from a pretty woman, unless he's not feeling the woman then he should not play games with her.
Sam said…
Raya are you affraid of the comitment? Or why is it it that you push away?
Raya L. said…
I wouldn't say I am afraid, just cautious and once I get the feeling that a guy doesn't seem to be really into me or a good partner then I step away.
Raya L. said…
I wouldn't say I am afraid, just cautious and once I get the feeling that a guy doesn't seem to be really into me or a good partner then I step away.

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