March 26, 2015

Not Too Social + A Queen Doesn't Play the Joker


Sometimes people have misconceptions about my life.  Because I only share certain details does not mean I do not have more depth in my world.  I do go out and socialize with friends but, not as often as you may think.  Yes, I have a few numbers in my phone belonging to interested suitors but, not all of them have my attention or have my attention in a way they want it.

I host or attend 1-2 events a month with my social group.  Maybe once a month I hang out with girlfriends just because. I interact via phone call or text with a few men but, I only hang out with one. (As I stated in a previous post, I am not a serial dater or play on the interest of more than one man at a time.)  Although, I do have platonic male friends who I'll catch up with over food but, when I become serious with someone we'll address those boundaries.

For the most part, I am either at home or at work.  My primary focus is to maintain a comfortable life for my family.  I go over my daughter's homework every night, my son comes and tells on his sister when she's ignoring him, both of them get fed...more than once, they play games, they watch a movie(s), then they pass out, and we do it again the next night. 


MY THOUGHTS: 

A Queen Doesn't Play the Joker




One of the many things I've learned in "Womanhood" is: What a man expects from you is derived from how he perceives you. If you are boisterous and dramatic, even though it may be nerve wracking to him, your actions will not be a surprise to him. If you are quiet and docile, he won't expect you to overpower a conversation. If a man meets you at the park playing on the swings with your kids, how do you think he views you? If a man meets you at the club lap dancing on the local celebrity but, you don't work there, how do you think he views you?

Much like, don't post sexually suggestive ideas on Facebook and then act like a prude and take offense when a man approaches you about it. That's not how he thought of you, otherwise he would not have approached you in that manner.

Also, don't have him bring you to an upscale restaurant and cause a spectacle with the waitstaff because your plate came out with 4 jumbo shrimp instead of 5. He thought highly enough of you to be a classy woman who would simply tell the waiter of the mistake so it can be corrected instead of being carried out by security. (I know this example is a bit extreme but, you get my point.)

I say all this to say....How you present yourself to him is who he expects you to be so don't put on an act knowing the script has an end. I recall a distinct memory from my previous relationship that is relative to this topic; I posted a picture of an aggressive gesture on a social site that was public. My love saw it and asked me to take it down. I brushed it off like it was not a big deal but, when he explained it to me, I felt silly and took the picture down. 

In summary he said, "You are not that type of woman. That is not how you are and if people see that picture, they may get the wrong idea about you. Don't let people speculate the wrong image of who you are."

He was right, I didn't and don't want to be seen as a careless, facetious, and ignorant woman. Women who pride themselves with substance and class are held at a different and most likely higher degree than those who pride themselves with....well, I'll let you fill in this part. A respectable woman should not digress from her stature to gain bleak attention. 

You can be interesting and entertaining without playing the fool and becoming the joke.

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