June 28, 2015

Smile + Different Languages

Never underestimate the power of a smile.

....yes we do.

Yes, I am the square who travels with books and even buys books when traveling.  Think that's silly or unnecessary?  Okay, so explain to me your point of view of Nature vs. Nurture, or the reason of the Pyramids, or who Socrates' students were.  I'll wait, and for everyone else who understand the importance of literature, let us continue on with this post...

So I ended up in Dallas this weekend for business and leisure.  Before my trip I searched for hotels in a some what metropolitan area so I would not have to travel too far for food, shops, and other sights.  I came across a very nice hotel complete with a lounge/bar/restaurant, plus 90% of the ratings were at least 3.5.  Yet, the prices were a bit much for what I wanted to pay BUT, the search site I was using offered a very friendly discount on this particular hotel.  I figured it was a great deal for what this hotel offered and considering where it was located, I went ahead and made my reservation online.  While completing my information, there was a section which asked if I had any special requests for my room or stay.  I simply commented that I did not want to be on the first floor, nor did I want to be near the elevator or noisy areas.  That was it.  Sent. Confirmed. 

Before arriving to the hotel, I called ahead and stated that I would be running late and the concierge made a note of it.  When I finally got there, the parking option was either a paid lot or valet.  I figured valet was unnecessary so I parked myself and was very aware of the daily fee.  No problem, I was prepared to pay it.  I grab my things and head towards the entrance.  I was kindly approached by one of the valet attendants who asked if I needed assistance.  I graciously decline and made my way inside. The layout and decor was gorgeous! I went to the desk to check-in.  The young man who assisted me was very friendly, asking if I needed a beverage or anything else he could offer.  In a personable manner, I told him I had a busy day and I just wanted to kick my shoes off and settle in.  He proceeded to let me know that if I needed a cocktail anytime during my stay that I would not be charged.  Did I hear this right?.....Yes, I did.  He also added that if I wanted late check-out I would not have to worry about that fee either.  A little confused but, appreciative, I smiled, thanked him, and headed to my room.  

Once I placed myself on the elevator to the right side, I pushed the 9 key.  It did not light up.  I pushed it again, nothing.  Adding to my confusion and thinking the elevator was having technical issues, I quickly looked over and noticed on the left side of the elevator there was also a set of buttons; I reached over, 9.....nothing.  Then I slightly adjusted my eyes upward and read a sign: Preferred Level Guests on Floors 8-11, Please insert your room key and select your floor number.  When did I become a preferred guest?  Okay, no biggie, maybe that is what they had available when I booked the room.  Cool.

Finally I am in my room which is completely opposite of the elevator like I initially requested.  Awesome.  The room is amazing; I was very impressed.  I kicked off my heels and set up my laptop.  I was aware there would be a fee for high-speed internet.  Okay, I was prepared to pay it.  I needed the access for business and personal reasons.  

Shortly after, I headed out to meet a friend, whom was also traveling, for dinner.  It was pouring outside.  I stood by the door to wait for the monsoon to pass...10 minutes, still bad, 20 minutes: no better.  A hotel employee came to me and asked if I needed help, I told him I was waiting for the rain to lighten up so I can get to my car without getting drenched.  He offered to have a valet attendant to retrieve it.  Looking at how busy the two attendants were in this weather, I graciously declined.  Then he asked if I wanted to use an umbrella...Yes, please.  A few minutes later the gentleman returned with an umbrella and a towel and asked if I wanted him to walk me to my car....No, thank you, I can make it.  He gave me his name offered his future assistance if I needed it. Sweet.

I return to the hotel and give back the umbrella.  I was asked for my room number...914...and if I had eaten...Yes, I just had dinner thank you.  I was then given the choice to order a lite snack delivered to my room free of charge....Ummm, no thank you, I'm pretty full and really tired.  Have a good night. 

Check-out time (I did not take the late check-out offer).  I get my things together and head down to the front desk.  I was expecting a few items on my final bill.....

"Ma'am, you have no charges for your stay with us. Everything has been covered."

To be sure there was not a mistake or misunderstanding, I said..."Well, I believed I prepaid." And again, I was told...

"No, everything has been covered." 

In the short minutes of walking to my car, my mind was in a state of astonishment.  What is the world is going on?  Is this a marketing tactic? Did someone come and pay my bill? Am I going to get a mysterious charge on my statement next month? Was there a computer error? Was it ME?  My mannerisms?  My professionalism?  My appreciative responses?  My way of speaking?  My coyness?  My constant smiling?  WHAT?!  

Oh well, I guess I will never know but, how amazing is that?!

P.S. - I never got a chance to use the gym or the indoor pool.  I blame the soft bed covers for keeping me hostage during those opportune times. 


Different Languages: 

What did Tevin Campbell say? "Can we talk for a minute?"
Let's face it, men and women speak different languages, whether it is family, friends, or lovers.  A man may not receive what I say how I delivered it to mean and I cannot assume he will automatically know the intent of my words.  Yet, what I can be aware of is the person of whom I am speaking with.  Depending on your audience, you may have to adjust your speech, the words you use, the tone you use them in, your expressions, your body language, all of that, so there is no misunderstanding but, again....different languages.

So, what if the conversation is through text and someone misinterpreted the meaning of your message?  Again, know your audience, although, in the same sense, your audience should know you as well.  Either way, depending on the connection you have with said person, you may need to decipher whether or not it is worth explaining your meaning or intent.  If the one who misunderstood, lashed out before any clarity, then I suggest accessing the reality of this person in true form and not even invest anymore thought in communicating at all.  Why continue to look at your dirty hands when you can just wash them clean?  Buuuut...it's not my business how you communicate or how frequently you communicate with silly people.  Carrying on...

I have realized that some men tend to forget they are speaking with a woman and say things that just make NO SENSE AT ALL! (Okay, I know I have male readers, I am not a man, so my perspective is purely of a woman and my experiences with your kind.  Sorry but, not really.) And I find myself giving a sideways look or reaction as if to say, "Did this just happen?  Am I slow?  Did I miss something?  Is he speaking to me like that?  Is he serious?"...Then my mind wanders elsewhere..."I wonder if my dry cleaning is done.  Did I pay my car note yet?  What did my boss want me to do tomorrow?"

Here is my disclaimer: I am going to be very frank to any man who is reading this and any man I come across, I don't do the dramatics especially if you are a MAN.  Yes, at times I am overzealous, facetious, and nonchalant, not for reasons of being a woman but, for reasons of where I am at in my life right now.  And YES, I can be dramatic if I want to, why? BECAUSE I AM A WOMAN, it is in my nature and in my contract with God to be an emotional mess when necessary or unnecessary.  Unfair?  Oh well, write a book or pray about it.  And I know for damn sure I am not quiet about my opinions on love and romance at this point in my juncture; ask any man who has had a conversation with me about it.  So if you have an issue, state it.  Whether you feel I am being cold, insensitive, selfish, spoiled, stubborn, whatever, tell me but, please collect your thoughts before hand and make sure your monologue is something I will be receptive to....if I do not respond, WAIT.  DO NOT begin to assume anything of what I may be thinking.  I guarantee you cannot fathom how my thought process works.

If a good amount of time goes by and I do not respond, then contact me again, because if you were not aware, let me educate you, I work, I have two children, I maintain a website, I read, I study, I have friends, I socialize, I live my life accordingly and there is a possible chance that I did not have time to answer you.  Yet, if I consider you a genuine friend, someone I can see a steady connection with, then I do make a point to set time aside to respond (Note: This list of men who I consider in this manner is very small...more like one person whom has been very patient with me, accepts who and where I am in my life at this moment, so yes, this one man does get very thoughtful and thorough words from me and has been just as consistent with his communication towards me.  I do have other guy friends I catch up with from time to time but, they are in a different category from this particular man).

Also make note, I will prolong my response to you if you were in anyway demeaning, aggressive, or shown me a completely unappealing side of you, in which case I may never respond.  So speak to me in the language that YOU feel is correct as a man and I will speak to you in the language that I feel is correct as a woman.  If there is misunderstanding, address it and be patient, or let it all the way go.  I use myself as the reference since I cannot speak for all women but, the many I know concur with these thoughts. 

Adding to the topic of interpretation....

What say you of this? Initially when I read it, I did not understand the meaning but, the statement is left open for you to distinguish your own meaning.

My view of it is both men are behind masks so anyone's face could be under that mask.  Batman represents heroism, doing good for others, making the right decisions, and everything we are taught as children to do or be mindful of.  The Joker on the other hand, represents everything else.  I do not necessarily see him as the face of evil but, more so the face of reality......the reality that the world is not as perfect once we walk pass our mailboxes.  The reality that the world contains so much more chaos then we would like it to have and not everyone is a hero at all times.....not even Batman.  And while you are letting that sink in, let me add another thought for your cerebrum....Batman is always so serious even as Bruce Wayne, just very stern, while Joker is always smiling even when being defeated....and they both seem to have an equal amount of weight on their shoulders.  Yup, let that marinate.

Speaking of marinate...
I was elected to cook this weekend....yup, while I was away from home but, my friend was away from home as well, so no, I did not mind at all especially since the request was pork chops!  Que in Lionel Richie...Hello...

June 23, 2015

Simply White + The Placement of a Kiss

Dress: Upscale Boutique
When wearing white, I never play by the rules! And I absolutely LOVE dresses that cover just about everything and yet revealing the most sensual parts of a woman. 


The Placement of a Kiss

A kiss is more than just a kiss when it is from the right person and place on the right location.  I do not know if men realized the affect they can have on a woman just by knowing how and where to kiss her. 

The Neck/Shoulder kiss: Some would consider this a lust kiss or a tease kiss and maybe it is.  When a man hugs you or pulls you close to him and kisses you there, you are definitely more than just friends and he definitely thinks of you as someone sweet or special. 

The Forehead kiss: This is my absolute favorite and the most endearing kiss of all.  To me, this kiss means, I care for you, I adore you, I admire you, I want to protect you, I want you near me, I want you in my life.  When things were good, my ex would give me the forehead kiss while I was falling asleep on his chest and at that quick moment, I felt all the world could be in disarray but, I was at peace. 

Just for Laughs: 

*Shoulder shrugs*
...guess I'll just finish off this MBA and work on the next promotion.

Other Posts on Dating and Relationships: 

June 21, 2015

2 Looks 1 Skirt + Happy Father's Day

Above Look
Top: H&M
Skirt: Upscale Boutique
Loafers: Call it Spring

Below Look
Top: ???
Skirt: Upscale Boutique
Shoes: Aldo


Happy Father's Day

**Fathers and Step-Fathers of Girls:  May your daughter forever look to you for guidance, strength, and protection.  I hope she shares with you her thoughts as she travels through this journey called life becoming the young woman you helped mold and remain proud of.  I pray that you show her the ways of a good man so as she is growing, she knows how a man is supposed to carry and conduct himself.  I also pray that she always runs to you much like how I still run to my father. 
**Fathers and Step-Fathers of Boys:  May your son always seek you for wisdom and stand with you in the journey in becoming and being good men that the world can be proud of.  I pray that you continue to show him how to be strong while understanding the responsibilities of a provider and leader.  I also pray that you continue to teach him the ways of a gentleman so he knows how to treat all women but, deeply love the one woman who matches his grace.

"I don't know about yo daddy but, MY DADDY IS THE BESTEST!" 
It is no secret that the man who raised me is not my birth father.  He is actually my step-father but, he has been in my life since I was 5 years old and he is the only father I know.  Even after he divorced my mother, he still wanted to be in my life and fought for custody of me.....ME!, a child who has no biological relation to him but, he was already so invested in my life that he wanted to still guide me through it. SO DON'T TELL ME A DAMN THING ABOUT HAVING A GOOD DAD BECAUSE I HAVE A GREAT ONE! And he is proof that step-dads can make the best fathers!

I love every moment spent with my Daddy.  Even though he frowns upon it but, sometimes I still act like I'm 5 years old when I am around him.  I ask him to make me sandwiches and cut off the crust.  I sit in the shopping cart while he pushes me around in the grocery store.  I stick him up for shopping money (even though he never complies)....and sometimes he still treats me like a little girl.  He asks me where I am going, who I will be with, what I will be doing, and when I will be returning.  He tells me to be mindful of certain choices and asks me what type of "boys" I hang around.  I practically call on my father about everything.  We have the funniest father/daughter banter. 

More silliness here: The Chronicles

June 14, 2015

Flower Girl + Letting Go

Clutch: Sam Moon
Earrings: Sam Moon

Sometimes I like prints and patterns that stand out.


Letting Go

Many of us have experienced or are still experiencing the redundancy of going back and forth with the same person.  Whether it is the fear of starting over and not finding someone who will know us the way this person does or whether we feel there is possibility of it working out if only he/she would work less, listen more, call more, spend time more....blah, blah, blah.....whatever the reason, you will not know the possibilities of this relationship if you do not let go.  You two may come back together and be the perfect match after taking time apart and growing individually.  OR, if you do not learn to let go, you may be keeping yourself from someone who is waiting for you and is exactly the type of person you want as your partner.  

If my ex and I had this conversation many years ago, we would have save each other from so much unnecessary stress and disappointment, but that is past 'woulda coulda shouldas' and I will make sure there will not be any future ones! (I do not have the patience nor the energy to go back and forth with someone who I have concluded to not be the type of person I can imagine spending the rest of my days with.  There are far too many souls who may connect better with mine.)

Just think about it, there are people who are married for 20-30 years and decide to get divorced because they came to the realization that they are no longer a cohesive couple.  There is nothing wrong with starting over and there is absolutely noting wrong expressing to this person that you cannot be a better you if this relationship keeps running into the same issues.  It's time to let it go.

Other Posts on Dating and Relationships: 

Just For Laughs: The Chronicles of an Untamed Daughter

More Daddy Daughter shenanigans HERE

June 13, 2015

Houston Nights + Dating In Houston

There has not been one person that I've met in Houston who was not GREAT! 
I love how Houston is a melting pot of EVERYONE! 
How I starting meeting people was joining social groups that have frequent meet and greets and fun interactive events. Plus, through these groups I was able to meet more people by just being out and becoming familiar with the Houston area.

Sometimes it's like this here......


Dating In Houston

Ummm........well, the dating scene here is yet to be fully experienced. The ratio of women to men is greater and even though the option of good men is better.....they have more options in women. Sighs....but let me not get too down and out since I am nowhere near ready to be in a committed romance anyway.

I will be completely honest and admit the following: 

1. I am still very guarded
2. I am still nervous to be vulnerable
3. I do not know what I want
4. There are still things I want to learn about myself
5. There are still things I need to learn about men
6. There are still things I need to learn about healthy relationships 

I am definitely NOT closed off to being in love, but it will be difficult for someone to have me right now because I am not fully ready to give myself COMPLETELY to someone to make a relationship work.....and yes, I admit that I do not know how to handle a man affections or emotions towards me.  In which case, I do not want them to waste their time investing in me when I cannot return the same interest at this moment. This may be a destructive notion, but it is just what I am comfortable with right now.  Am I being stubborn about this?  Probably.

But, believe you me, when I am ready, the special man WILL BE FULLY HAPPY!

Yet, I will say his, so far, I have learned to accept the fact that I cannot force a man to be who I need him to be for me.  He has to already be that man and when we come together, both our strengths will build the foundation.  Therefor, he has to go through obstacles, make hard decisions, and learn lesson on his own to truly know himself and what he can offer the world, what he can offer me. 

If he is half ready and I am half ready, then the relationship is doomed from the start.

Other posts on dating and relationships: