Houston Nights + Dating In Houston

There has not been one person that I've met in Houston who was not GREAT! 
I love how Houston is a melting pot of EVERYONE! 
How I starting meeting people was joining social groups that have frequent meet and greets and fun interactive events. Plus, through these groups I was able to meet more people by just being out and becoming familiar with the Houston area.

Sometimes it's like this here......


Dating In Houston

Ummm........well, the dating scene here is yet to be fully experienced. The ratio of women to men is greater and even though the option of good men is better.....they have more options in women. Sighs....but let me not get too down and out since I am nowhere near ready to be in a committed romance anyway.

I will be completely honest and admit the following: 

1. I am still very guarded
2. I am still nervous to be vulnerable
3. I do not know what I want
4. There are still things I want to learn about myself
5. There are still things I need to learn about men
6. There are still things I need to learn about healthy relationships 

I am definitely NOT closed off to being in love, but it will be difficult for someone to have me right now because I am not fully ready to give myself COMPLETELY to someone to make a relationship work.....and yes, I admit that I do not know how to handle a man affections or emotions towards me.  In which case, I do not want them to waste their time investing in me when I cannot return the same interest at this moment. This may be a destructive notion, but it is just what I am comfortable with right now.  Am I being stubborn about this?  Probably.

But, believe you me, when I am ready, the special man WILL BE FULLY HAPPY!

Yet, I will say his, so far, I have learned to accept the fact that I cannot force a man to be who I need him to be for me.  He has to already be that man and when we come together, both our strengths will build the foundation.  Therefor, he has to go through obstacles, make hard decisions, and learn lesson on his own to truly know himself and what he can offer the world, what he can offer me. 

If he is half ready and I am half ready, then the relationship is doomed from the start.

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Anonymous said…
Sweetheart, you don't know what you want because a man has not shown you what you need. And excuse me for saying this, but your ex is a complete idiot for not making a better effort to keep you and I am damn sure he is to blame for you being closed off. There is nothing you need to learn about men or relationships other than learning with experience. It seems to me like you're are scared of getting hurt because from posts I've read, you already seem to have an understanding of who you are and what you want in life. The right man will know exactly how to handle your insecurities about relationships and teach you how to overcome them. Saying that you're not ready is just a wall you built. The right man will love you, cater to you, provide for you, and make you feel like the sun moon and stars have no competition against you. The problem is, when this man comes along, you'll probably just push him away.
Steven said…
Not to piggyback on the first comment but I do see some truth to what the person is saying. Do not close yopurself to someone who can be the right one for you. The last guy is an asshioe and every woman has at least one but you know you deserve the best so when the right man comes along, keep him. When he shows you he cares dont brush it off. When he reached out to you don't ignore him. You seem to be a good woman. a good mother and very down to earth. yes you are very honest about your concerns but dont let those worries keep you from letting someone love you.

Have a good day beautiful.
Raya L. said…
I greatly appreciate your thoughts and initially your word got me a bit agitated. but as the your discourse sank into my Ego and ID, I began to realize you are not completely wrong. I have conditioned myself to deflect men who have shown interest in me because I never know their true intentions and because of that, I do not want to make irrational choices that may lead me to heartache. Ad you may be also correct in the thought of the "right man" will pull me out of my insecurities, but the question is, Will he be patient enough to go through the motions with me? I have notice with a few men I've met, once they begin to see that I am a bit more complex than expected, they tend to move on to find someone who is not as....difficult.
Raya L. said…
Thank you. I have done a bit of self reflection and have identified a few things I must work on in order to be okay with someone coming into my life. I do ignore certain things men say because my initial thought is that they could be saying it to 5 other women as well. I do brush off other people's concerns for me make the statements "I'm fine, everything is okay, there is nothing for you to worry about". I do this because I feel that some people should not invest so much in me when I know I am not the best at being receptive to people wanting me and only me.

And I have a bad tenancy of telling men that they should go meet and mingle with other women just to avoid having the conversation about what I feel, what I want, and what is the next move with them. But again, I do think the right one will continue to make efforts to have me and all my deflections won't bother him or effect his feelings towards me at all. It is just that the process of doing this is tedious, especially since I am very stubborn and most men do not have that much patience when they can simply call another pretty face who is willing to be what he wants her to be.

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