Let Him Be The Man

I was speaking with a friend a few weeks ago about a guy she started seeing.  She was telling me about their first date....They met after work, she had a busy day and did not get a chance to eat.  When the two met at the restaurant, she said he was dressed very nicely and waiting outside by the door for her to arrive.  She described the scene to being very similar to a Carrie and Big moment when she saw him.  Sorry fellas, you may not get this reference, just go ask your wives, girlfriends, or females friends about it.  

Because my friend had not eaten she was a bit shaky, he noticed she was not well and rushed to order her a quick appetizer just to get something in her system. How sweet, he catered to her need without hesitation or without her asking. He complimented her and they spoke about the usual first date topics.  Then he suggested going to the gun range after dinner.  A bit odd for a first date but, hey, it was different. 

My friend has never shot a gun before and does not know much about guns.  The only thing I know about them is that my father has plenty and bought me a cute little 22 and it's also pink!  Yup, Daddy knows.  Her date taught her how to hold the gun, aim, and shoot.  Taking control, very nice.   She stated that he very much established his dominance and manhood in a very appealing manner...kind of like how we women gawk at handsome construction men during our lunch hour...anyway, she was not used to this kind of view of man in her past experiences...Yes, he set the outlier for her.  I wonder if I have outlier......no, no one in Houston yet...They saw each other again after this date and began to learn more about one another.

My friend revealed to me that even though he did not give any reason for her to doubt him she kept questioning what his "issues" were.  Why was he single?  What happened in his last relationship?  How many other women is he talking to?  What are his intentions with her?  Why did he take interest in her?  You know, the same things all of us women do when a man seems like a catch....Yeah, I'm guilty.  She had all these questions swarming in her head mainly because of how he "handled" her.  He complimented her, told her what his thoughts were of her, had in depth conversations with her, took interest in her family, her life, revealed details about his life and past relationships, wanted to see her, comforted her, surprised her with flowers, required her to be more open, subconsciously called her out of her ways and gave her the sense of needing to break down her barriers as a dominate woman who feels she does not need to be in a relationship, does not need to be be attended to, does not need to be passive, does not need to listen, does not need to be protected, does not need to ask for help, does not need a man's presence....yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm describing myself as well, don't worry, I'll go place myself in the corner after this.

He basically showed her how a man should handle a woman, especially a woman who has never been told or has long been told to "Sit down and let me do this, you can relax, I got this, I'm doing this for you because I want to, because I care, because I'm concerned, because I want to know you, because I like you." Not that he said these things to her in this exact way but, just the gesture of a man being a man and asserting himself in such a way for a woman to feel.....like a woman.  

Overall, the key which struck the best note was the that my friend was open to the idea of even if this did not work out, he still taught her something about herself that she did not realize she needed to work on or change about herself.  That right there is a blessing within itself, so kudos to this man for being able to respectability put a woman in her deserved place. 

I recall sometime ago, I was in the company of a new male acquaintance...yes I am being politically correct to avoid saying I was on a date...we were in my car, and I stopped to get gas.  He got out of the car after me and started to handle the pump.  I chuckled and told him I can pump my own gas, I even smacked his hand away and sarcastically said,  "I've been doing it on my own for many years now."  He simply told me, in a playful but, serious manner, to get back in the car and that because he was present, I should not have to concern myself with little things like this.  Not knowing how to respond, I got back in the car and waited for him....yeah, I can hear some of your thoughts right now fellas, let's keep it quiet over there.  

Other Things To Consider: 

Women of a certain caliber are interested in men of a certain stature.

I always hear some women say that they can never find a good man.  How is that true? I meet them all the time. You attract what you put out into the world.

Just For Laughs: 

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