Love Blue + Still Single?

This is a two piece cropped top outfit from Fantasy Accessory Box (Instagram).  I love the fact that this is a two piece, which means I can wear the skirt with any top.  The fabric is soft cotton and not irritable to the skin.  And because the top is crocheted, it's breathable so you won't get too warm even in the sun.  The skirt length is just PERFECT! And you see the pockets right?!

Still Single?

I used to loathe the question...Why are you single?....Because I want to be and need to be right now...I can't be single?..The more people I meet, the better I get with answering this question.  I do not take offense by any of it.  I am perfectly fine with where I am at in my love life.  I have dated in these three years and met several suitable men, but stemming from my previous experience, my standards have gone up.  The reason is not only do I want to avoid the same heartache, but also I have risen and I need to be matched by someone who can level with me, challenge me, teach me, push me beyond my limits...if only we can custom make our perfect mate.

This isn't easy, love isn't easy...I do want the butterflies, I do want to smile when I hear his voice or receive a massage from him.  I am not anti-love, I just do not want to force it.  You can love someone and not like them.  I want to be in extreme "like" that it becomes love.  I keep saying it and it may sound redundant but, you must have a solid foundation and a good stream of communication, otherwise it is doomed from the start.  Once you find yourself ignoring your intuition and subsiding to your partners wants without considering your own's time to go before you completely become someone you don't me, been there, done that, don't want to go back...

People also ask me, "Raya (or Pooh), there's no one you like or no one in your life you would consider something deeper with?"....Well, yeah, there is but, it is not someone who I openly talk about to everyone for good reason.  Let me mentioned in this previous >POST< there is one person whom I communicate with in a different manner.  Do we communicate everyday?  No, and that does not bother me, because we are both aware that we maintain busy schedules...and this next one I am sure I will get a lot of criticism about...We live in different states but understand this, I am not looking at our connection as a relationship.

Yes, I like him, I think he is a great guy, he is very sweet, driven, ambitious, not to mention, he knows how to wear a suit well but, even with all these good qualities about him, we still have to remain realistic about one another.   Do I miss him?  All the time.  Do I think about him?  Probably more often than one should think about a person.  Would I like to see him everyday? Of course!  But our lives are not there yet and it may never get there, which is why we are not making any empty promises to one another.  We are letting fate take the lead on this...I mean, somehow, the world knew we would enjoy each other passed a temporary essence and it brought us on the same day, to the same place, and at the same time.  Granted I had my prejudgments of him and there is still some curiosity here and there but, what will come of this will prevail...Heck, he may tell me one day that he just proposed to the love of his life and he has a new baby on the way and he is extremely happy, in which case, I am going to look like this kid....

Yes, I have an ugly cry face but...All is fair in love and war.  I would not want him or any man who may have my attention to keep that type of information from me.  Yeah, I may be a little hurt but, all I can do is suck it up, get over it, wish him the best, and distance myself out of respect to his future wife.  I have been blatantly honest with this man since meeting him and I do not plan to change that about our dynamic.  I have told him about my previous experiences with men and my worries about getting into a new relationship, nothing has been shaded about my truths to him. What reason do I have to lie to him?  If we do become lovers somewhere in time, then he should know the woman he is seeing without doubts.  Right now, we are cool; we are just admiring each other and learning bits and pieces about one another.  In the end he may be the one God has planned for me or he may just be a connection I needed to make to meet the one God really has on hold for me.  If anything, I would hope that we always remain in contact of some form...I'm definitely not hard to find or get a hold of, my contact information is everywhere and I see all my emails.

I want my love to be unexpected, I do not want to plan a relationship.  I just want it to naturally flow.  I want us to laugh and miss each other even though we are holding hands at that moment. I want to be able to share my darkest secrets and not have to worry about him turning them against me.  In the middle of an argument, I want him to just grab me and kiss me with passion, because he will know, as bulled headed as I am, I still need him to cut me off and make me remember that the frustration is not always worth it.  I want to come home and see that he had came home early to fix me dinner because he knows I had a hard day at work.....and I will do all this for him, because love is a mutual exchange.  So, yeah, let me be single until I get to this point.

Just For Laughs: 

Those who know me, KNOW, I do NOT do salads....unless it's is being followed by a double bacon cheese burger with a side of seasoned fried smothered in cheese and sprinkled with steak bits.  So, if my future husband ever gets home before me to fix dinner, it better not be a salad or we're getting divorced! 


Anonymous said…
Really Ray? With the snot face and everything? LOL

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