August 28, 2015

Queen of Hearts + The Rise and Fall


This dress is just perfect. It fits me perfectly and it thin enough for those hot Texas days but, not so thin that it is see-through...well, in the direct sunlight you can see the shadows of my frame but, still leaves just enough mystery.


Dress: eBay
Earrings: Sam Moon


I LOVE the design of this dress. The neckline assimilates a royal essence. 



MY THOUGHTS
The Rise and Fall

...of a Empire..Heart


How do you control your emotions?...I still have yet to find the answer to this...Even though I hide what I feel and internalize my affections very well...it still pierces my heart when an unexpected dagger hits it.

I know many people can relate but, have yet to admit it...I am not as strong as I make myself out to be...I turn my head to hide the tears and turn back around with a smile...I'm fine.  The truth is, I am afraid.  There is no other way to explain it.  I am afraid of becoming so attached to someone that I put all my hopes and efforts in them just to be left alone again.  I am afraid that if I let someone close to me and it does not work out, then my time spent was wasted when I could have been focusing productive.

Ideally, I understand we must take risks on matters of the heart and if the love the goes, then it is not a lose but, an experience gained and memories captured.

Even though I have set aside interest of meeting men for purpose of a budding love affair, I am still open to building connections with people I already know or may still come across.  I will still continue to meet people, that is a part of life and with being single, meeting people may occur more often than not.  
(Interruption: I find myself being lightly patronizing  when speaking to certain people and I begin to feel uninterested to further engage in discourse with these people who have irritated me or have proven to be....idiots.  My body language and my tone relay a "You are beneath me" attitude.  Although, I know this is not a great characteristic of mine....but some people are just beyond positive thoughts.)
Back to the topic: ...Yet, how they continue to know me will be dependent on how I perceive them and how they perceive me...I am still sticking to my guns about needing for a man to understand what my focus is right now and if he doesn't or gives me a hard time about it...BYE FILPE! 
The post reference here. << and about this post here....

The comments on the referred post really had me puzzled but, also giggling.  My friend and I smiled greatly about it.  It's funny how people admire you from afar but, you may never know it they do not say a word.  I am also very amazed how the men remained very respectful towards my friend and I.  They gave me many compliments but, their words as much complimented my friend as they did me.  So those of you Kappa Gentleman who are following my site, I want to say, Thank You.

*P.S. - Kappas, I am in search of a video from the Pi Lounge day party on August 15.  Particularly a video of when My Kappa was on the mic.  If anyone has that, please email to me.  

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