September 12, 2015

Black On + The Crazy One


Black is a timeless color and works great for any season and occasion.


Dress: Express
Belt: Chanel
Necklace: Target
Other Jewlery: Sam Moon
Hat: Sam Moon

 

MY THOUGHTS:
The Crazy One

Look, I'm not proud of it but, I used to be the crazy woman who would call back to back to back if he did not answer.  I used to ask him where is he going, who is he going with, and when he will be back and if he was not back by the time he said he was going to be, then the phone calls started.  I have even locked-out his phone at least once when I could not get into it to see the messages and since we were on the same account, I would call the carrier to get info on his calls...yup, crazy but, in all fairness, my ex contributed to my crazy with his own foolish ways...I am not proud of who I was.  I hated those feelings.  The "not knowing" drove me insane!

And now....I really don't give a damn...but it's not that I do not care, it's more so, I am more aware of myself and what I will accept.  It will not bother me if there is a woman who keeps making her way next to you, it will not bother me if you two exchange numbers, it won't even bother me if you hug her hello or goodbye because what I am relying on is the interaction you and I have privately and publicly; the two should be cohesive.  I'm not saying we should have a make-out session in front of everyone but, how you attend to me will be the defining factor for other women.

You don't have to spell out to her that you are with me if you don't feel it necessary, she'll see it when you are close to me, she'll notice how you look at me, how you speak to me, and how you engage with me.  She will see the difference in your actions with her and as long as she doesn't get messy about it, we're good...trust me, I have grown tremendously over the years BUT, I will check that bitch and belittle her feeble minded thought process if you don't check her first!



One thing I am a firm believer of...A man must be sure that no other woman steps to his wife/lover about HIS actions.  Gentleman, do not let other women misconceive your interest in them.  Of course there are women who cannot help but think a man will step out on his heart for simple pleasures BUT, there are men who have dignity and know how to handle such women.

Look, I have gone through too much BS with my last run at love to be the same person again.  If our personalities do not blend and if we keep having conflicts, fine, let us cordially go our separate ways.  No love lost, no harm, no foul.  Just don't test me, I do not have the patience for the mind games and if you want to go toe to toe with a war of wits, YOU WILL LOSE...bet on it!

I have a profession, I have this website, and I assists with a social group and their website, plus, I have two gremlins to entertain between all this, so keep the games for these women who have a idle schedules, I'll be over here reading up on SEO, Web Analytics, completing reports for clients, driving to piano lessons, getting prepared for this month's social brunches, and bothering my father about real estate details or what I looked up on WebMD.

I do not have the energy to waste on ill feelings towards anyone.  I wish everyone the best and I will keep close ties to those who I want to be elevated with me or to elevate me.

I do not place full blame on my ex about how my life was with him...I should have known better than to hold on to something that wasn't progressing.  I know better now...If a man I am interested in tells me that his thoughts are on someone else, then my affections for him shut off.  I will be disappointed at first but, I am not going to wait for a man to know how great I am.  It is the same notion if I notice a man behaving towards other women the same way he behaves towards me or if he proves to be someone who would be more or a liability than an asset....friend zone you go sir!..and do not blame me for your hurt feelings...you did it to yourself.

Marriage Conscious

Also, you at least have to bring the the table what I am bringing.  I will not be a wife to a man who cannot provide for our home the same way I can provide for it...love, trust, support, and stability.  I am also accustomed to living a certain way...you can thank my Father for that...I sacrificed my way of living before; it won't happen again...you can thank my ex for that.  

I have gone through the messy struggle of trust and fiances already.  I have supported a man through his "ambitions" and not have any peace of mind with his decisions.  I cannot and will not live like that again.  Any man who I consider marrying will need to have already laid some sort of foundation for stability, I'll help him build on that platform.  Or if he just needs comfort, he can look to me for it.  I believe that a man should be the main provider but, I won't let him do it alone and I'll make sure he has peace in our home so he can continue to be a strong force.  So if you are trying to pursue me...

Come equipped or not at all
.


Love You Soon,
Raya L. 


4 comments:

  1. Ms Raya you are absolutely amazing. A true beauty you are. The man who marries you will be the luckiest man in the world.

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  2. I love how you make fancy look so simple. and I like how classy you keep yourself.

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  3. I guess Angels do walk with us!

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