February 28, 2015

Birthday Goals


I will be turning 30 on May 23.  It is my understanding that 30 is a major birthday.  It is transitioning into TRUE adulthood and getting your life organized and in order, getting serious about relationships, stabilization, fiances, investments, and career goals.......yeah, OK.

One thing I do want to focus on is my fitness, I have been back and forth with my weight the last few years, but I want to get to a shape that I can be pleased with and...ehem...please with. *Wink*

I hide it well with my clothes, but I have that little muffin top that hangs over my pants...ew.  That area is my main target, other areas like my thighs are okay, but the cellulite and stretch marks need to go.  My arms also need not be so "chubbly".  I cannot do anything about my boobs, they are just small and I will not undergo plastic surgery.  Just give me a padded lifting bra and I will be just fine, besides, I have come across a few men who do not mind a small top as long as there is a handful of booty to grab....I fit that preference...(unless you have Shaq hands.)

So let's mark this moment right now as a signed affidavit that I am going to be fit and fierce by May 23.  I am traveling to visit my birthday twin who lives in another state.  I let her know that our weekend will be epic and I have plenty of fabulous outfits just sitting in the closet waiting to SHOW OUT!  I plan on showing much leg and some mid section.  AND I REFUSE to wear any body contouring sharpers underneath my outfits!


**PAUSE**
Let's have a moment of peace for my hearty appetite.....

Now, on with the goal!


February 24, 2015

Dating: UPDATED


Dating is something that I do not like to do, but I do it.....how else will I meet someone who is going to go through life obstacles with me, who will tell me I am full of shit when I don't know what I'm talking about, someone who smiles just seeing me smile, a lover who will kiss my forehead and play in my hair as I fall asleep, a gentleman who still opens the car door for me, a partner who won't back out when times get tough, a companion who will hold my hand through all of it. 


SERIAL DATING: I do not date multiple people at one time.  I like to give a person a reasonable time frame to figure out if this will be a romantic affair or just a friendship.  After we realize that it will only be a friendship and nothing more at the moment or ever, I then consider other prospects.  Yes, sex can complicate things especially, if the two of you have not spoken about what your thoughts or plans are of each other, but if you decide to have sex then you need to be ready for anything that may occur afterwards....a budding romance or a friendly "let's hang out" call every now and then.  Many of times people do not disclose that they are dating other people, maybe to save from hurt feelings (but that's where the issues begin...just let the person know what your intentions are.)  If I meet someone new and feel comfortable enough to sleep with him (I am particular with who I decide to be intimate with, I like to at least be sure that he will not be awkward about it later) I do not always assume that it will become something more after having sex.  I lean on verbal communication when it comes to those matters, yes we may see each other more and spend more time together, but if we do not have a talk about a relationship then there is none. 

PARENTS DATING: Some of the men I have met only met my children in passing, there was no "quality time" at presence.  I am grateful to have a supportive family who understands that I do need to meet people and open a different or new chapter in my life.  My son is still very young, but my daughter knows her father and I will not come back together so she encourages me to find someone who will love us all.  I do not believe in letting your kids meet the person you are dating right away until both of you have an understanding that the two of you are planing to move forth together as a couple. 

Or maybe, just maybe, it IS me...


February 21, 2015

Building on the Foundation

The MsIndependent ladies and I came together to support Habitat for Humanity.  We are apart of the woman's build division meaning the volunteers are all women.  It was my first time volunteering and I must say it was a great and warming experience.  Habitat for Humanity is about building homes for families and giving them hope for a better future.  Each person in the family gets their own room.  They get to have a place where they can feel safe and gain lasting memories that will build their character.  Children get to come home and do their homework in their own rooms or at the kitchen table with their siblings; they get to invite friends over and be proud of their home.  We met a family who already had their home built; it was a young woman with three children.  We said a prayer for the family and their new home.  It was a heartfelt moment.  Afterward, our group headed over to a concrete foundation to put up the walls of a new home for another family.....


Proverbs 24:27 
Prepare your work outside; get everything ready for yourself in the field, and after that build your house.


Hebrews 3:4 
For every house is built by someone, but the builder of all things is God.

1 Corinthians 3:9 
For we are God's fellow workers. You are God's field, God's building.


Yes, I was caught taking selfies. An older man approached me and asked, "I have to know, what does 'Dopey Broad' mean?" The girls and I chuckled and explained to him it was a generational term for 'cool chick'.  The man laughed and smiled along with us.  He was too sweet. 

Yes, I had to wear my boots.
Yes, I am Dope.

February 14, 2015

1 + Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! How did you spend your day?
Mine started off with the sun shining in my window followed up by a morning massage appointment at Spa Envy with the ladies and some chocolates.....


It was my first professional 1 hour full body massage.....it was so good, I signed up for a membership. I got my hips realigned, my shoulders dropped, and my back clear of all the tension .  My body was so relaxed, calm, and easy-going...it was almost as if I was high.  (Don't judge.)  After my very well needed massage, I went home to get ready for the rest of the day....


I decided to wear white. I figured everyone would be wearing red or pink, but not all white.  I do not remember where I bought this dress, but it was perfect for today's weather and plans.  Then I helped the kids get ready.


Vanessa needed help fluffing her hair and Gabriel needed help buttoning his vest.


We headed out to Shogun Hibachi restaurant at Vintage Park Houston.  I ordered the filet mignon and salmon combination with fried rice, my daughter ordered the kids shrimp, and my son had a bowl of fried rice, but also ate off my plate.  The kids like this restaurant because of the "show" the cook puts on with fire and food effects. 


The kids really enjoyed having rice thrown at them.


We......I did some shopping after lunch and I got some new cute pieces.


Lastly, Daddy gave me some more chocolates. 


Hope you have enjoyed your day!

February 9, 2015

Plenty Of Fish


The social group I am involved in, MsIndependent, has paired up with Plenty of Fish which is a free online dating site.  The site also has options for paid memberships that will allow you to have more access to other features, I went the free route. Have any of you tried this site or any other dating site? 

My Experience: 
I created a few profiles on this site at different times. Once when I was a year into Texas, another time when I was convince to give it another shot, and the last time when POF became an affiliate of MsIndependent.  The men on this site are....interesting...of course you must weed out the foolishness and stick to what you are looking for or what type of guy you would consider having a conversation with.  In total I met 7 men, all of which I have no ill words about. For privacy, I will just number the men with their first initial....

**Just some background, my profile was very blunt stating what I will not accept or respond to: Rap jargon, gaudy jewelry, shirtless pictures, alcohol/money shots, etc. And I also gave some insight on my personality...how I can be random, selfish, and say inappropriate things...you know that important stuff.  My preferences in men are simple: tall, clean shaven, handsome (not flashy, someone Daddy won't feel offended by), well spoken, has a career, family oriented, and has a good circle of friends. Not much, right?  

The first 4 I met with my first POF profile, the 5th with my second profile, and the last 2 are most recent.

#1T: Messaged me first. Has 2 kids, been married, career, own house, not originally from Texas, but has lived here for at least 5 years, luxury car plus another vehicle,close to his mother, never saw him cook, but said he can, 6'4, slim, but muscular, handsome. I met up with him about 3-4 times, met his kids, he met mine (there was a community thing we did once so kids were expected.) Very sweet, he did mention that he would like to have a relationship with me, but at the time I was only interested in meeting new people and making friends to hang out with.  Eventually our communication dissolved. Every once and again, I will get a simple "How are you" text message from him.

#2J: Messaged me first. Has 2 kids whom he has primary custody of and has them involved in extracurricular activities (I know right? I should just told him I loved him right when he told me this), been married, career, own house, cannot remember if he is originally from Texas, but he has been here a long time, has a pick-up truck (which I love that a man has), close to his parents (his mother is an educator, I want to say that his father is as well, but I cannot recall), can cook, very well spoken, 6'4, very athletic build (this man has huge arms, I wish I still had a picture of him to show, you ladies would swoon) and of course, handsome...gorgeous, great smile and he is not a pretty boy.  You can look at him and tell that he is a true, cut-trees-down-build-a-house-fix-the-lighting-rugged mans man. AND his was willing to try out Yoga with me, not only that, he offered to teach me how to fish.  Because he was willing to do these things, it made me feel like it did not matter what we did, as long as we could be around each other while doing it, and that right there, can catch any woman's heart. He was a strong contender for a possible romance, but things did not go very far because of our schedules and the distance. He lived a good 30-35 minutes away, he worked nights, and his kids had a tight schedule, but from what I saw in this man, he will make a great husband for the right woman, if not already in the process (it has been some time since I last spoken with him.) I even asked him at one point why he was not in a serious relationship because I just could not figure out how a great man like this who looks the way he does is single!

#3B: Messaged me first.  Has 1 child, been married, started a new job, was new to the area, about a month new, renting a home, own car, close to his father (do not recall him mentioning his mother, but he definitely wanted to introducing me to his father.), 6'1, average build, handsome. We only hung out twice, drinks the first time and early dinner the second time. I stepped back from this one for several reasons, he was very new to town and automatically wanted to start being serious, not that I am opposed to men knowing what they want, but it seemed very quick, and I summarized from the conversations we had, our parenting styles are different, and there was a certain characteristic about him that made me cautious.

#4I: I messaged him first after reading his very detailed and impressive profile, he was very upfront about what he was looking for and what type of relationship he has with his kids and their mothers, so I automatically took an interest in him.  He has 2 children, very proud father, been married twice, has a career which he also made a business of, own home (recently sold it and is having a new home built in a great area) has several vehicles (purchased at least 3 during the time I knew him, plus a luxury car for his daughter), has a hobby of restoring older/classic cars and trucks, close to his family, I actually met his mother who is sweet as pie, both kids, some friends, and ex-wife only after a week and some days of knowing him; his neighborhood was having a block party that he invited me to, his mother and daughter were in town and his ex-wife was picking up their son, apparently he and his ex have a cordial relationship which I really admired. He's 6'6, slim build, but athletic, handsome, good smile. With this guy, I slowly let down my defenses and considered something serious with him.  We only lived 10 minutes from each other so it was easy for us to see one another frequently. Eventually he met my children, but only in passing, we never planned an outing for all of us together.  I began to reveal my emotions and affections and he did as well, but there were certain foundations I wanted to create to have a progressive relationship, little effort was made to make that happen, even after I voiced my thoughts. I stopped communication with him a few times during our courtship, but every time we reconnected it was the same issues. Because of this, my defenses started going back up and I slowly backed away. I can only presume that he was too busy to really involve someone new in his life, which I can understand, a successful man is a busy man and does not always have to time to hangout, have a conversation, or respond to a text message, but I feel that if you want something or someone, you make time (especially since he made it known that he wanted to be serious with me).  He has called and texted a few times, but I have completely digressed from all romantic emotions towards him.  I wish him well.

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#5B (a different B name): Messaged me first. Has 2 children, never been married, moved to Texas to start new, new career, new life, etc., so he was staying with family, 6'4, athletic build, handsome, really sweet and endearing. Continuously complimented me and let me know he enjoyed my company would like to know more of me which I really appreciated (what woman would not like to hear that?) We kept contact for a good while. He had to fly back to his home state to handle some tasks, I hear from him every now and then, but things have fell to the wayside with this one. 

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#6S: Messaged me first. We had a little tit for tat after I questioned him about one of his pictures, but we got passed that, then there was an issue of him confusing a conversation he had with someone else and was convinced it was with me, we got over that.  Has 1 child, been married, has a career, own car, not sure if he is renting or paying a mortgage, born and raised in Texas, not sure of his family ties, 5'11, very athletic build, handsome. Although, this guy was very sweet, we just did not click. 

#7T (a different T name): This one caught me off guard a little bit as I began speaking with him and knowing a little more about him.  When I saw that he sent me a message, I was not even going to read it just like with many of the messages I received, but I did and gave a generic response, then a few messages later, he said "I like your website...". Of course that caught my eye because as a blogger, I like to know that people have seen my website or took interest in it. Then another message read, "You seem very interesting. I would like to meet you and get to know you some more." Automatically, I was like, Wow, he is very upfront which is respectable, but I did not get too excited about it due to my experience with #3B. He has no children, been married to someone with a child and still reaches out to the child (which I thought was very attractive, because some men would not even bother after a divorce, plus I am close to my father who is really my step-father, so this guy gets a big thumbs up), he has a career, not sure if he is purchasing or renting his home, fairly new to town, but has friends and made friends here, just bought himself a pickup, has a motorcycle interest which I do not mind, but if things between us go a certain direction, I may become nervous about it.  He seems close to his family, seems to have good friends, I met 2 already, I was comfortable around them, they were funny and welcoming.  He can cook. This guy is very personable, I enjoyed my few times spent with him, he definitely does not seem like the quiet guy in the crowd, but he is not a drinker and has strong faiths (very admirable considering I do drink, sometimes more than necessary.)  He wears a hand made bracelet that reminds him to do at least one good deed a day, I thought that was very...poetic. Plus, he has this gorgeous dog which he mentioned in our first phone conversation and how he spoke about his dog is how someone who really loves their pet should speak like.  With myself being a dog person, I found that very endearing (dog lovers are a different breed of people.) He's 6'4, athletic build, pretty strong arms, handsome, amazing smile.  This guy is still fairly fresh and so far we are keeping contact.  I am not sure if we will continue to know each other and become good friends or become lovers or if things will just fall to the wayside. I do not know if he is dating other women, but just like the rest of the men I met, aside from #4I, it is not my place to worry about that right now.  I am just going to let things happen how it should. Update: We only became friends and speak with one another every now and again. I always ask him if he's found a wife yet and he chuckles about it.

*I have since deleted my POF profile, I figured if I stay on there too long, my views on men and dating will become more obscure than they already are.  I rather just go out and meet people.

My reaction to some of the profiles I seen.