September 29, 2015

Low Key + The Misconceptions of Him

My friends always say I never dress down....well, here you go.
It is not that I do not have casual clothes, I do, everyone does.  
I just like to be meticulous with what I wear.

Blazer: H&M
Top: H&M
Pamts: Target
Loafers: Call It Spring
Purse: Sam Moon


The Misconception of Him

I have several male friends whom are handsome, personable, respectful, sweet, and stable BUT, the ones who are single say the same thing about women...

"They think I'm a man whore."

Ummmm, well, ideally, I can see the point of view of women...a man who looks and carries himself a certain way must have a line of women after him or many numbers in his phone that he could call at any given time.  Although, this may be true, yes he may have plenty of women wanting him, yes he may have a slew of numbers in his phone but, we have to stop and digest the fact that he may not be want you think or what your friends think. He may not have a romantic interest in those women, he may not use any of those numbers. 

For the most part the men I am acquainted with want love, comfort, and stability just as much as many of us women do...I am as good as the company I keep but, I also do not judge anyone for their lifestyle choices, some people are left at a distance...but, understand that men have preferences too  He may get your number but, will he use it in the way YOU expect him to use it?  It all comes back to the woman you are and the impression you gave him.

Hell, I have a few men after me and a few numbers in my phone but, I am very selective with WHO I communicate with and HOW I communicate with them.  For the most part, my words are friendly, positive, and encouraging to each man. There is only one number I use often and how I communicate with this person does not compare to how I communicate with the others...for good reason.  So women can be viewed the same way. Are you willing to walk away because of your misconceptions of him?

Give the man a chance to show you whether or not he is a "hoe". You may be right but, what if you are wrong?  Just because to see a man attracting a lot of attention, does not mean his attention is everywhere with every woman. Observe how he is with YOU.  And not just when you two are alone but, also when you are out in public and among friends or familiar groups.

A man who only has eyes for you will not keep you far from his grasp (figuratively).

As for my friends, sometimes when we hang out, women think we are involved, even though we show nothing to validate their thoughts other than them seeing a man and a woman laughing and enjoying their time together; nothing more, nothing less.

I'm Hungry:

A few days ago I went to a Thai Restaurant somewhere in Houston (forgive me, I am still learning the areas of this HUGE city) I just know it is somewhere West off 610 hwy.  It's called Vieng Thai, if you want to look it up since I am of no help.

Anyway, I went by myself (low key pimp mode) and ordered the usual suspect: Som Tum (spicy papaya salad and Tom Yum (house soup with noodles)....I. ATE. IT. ALL! No regrets!

My usual place for Thai food is Gourmet Thai off Richmond Ave. (below) but, they were closed on the day I wanted food which is why I opted for the above location.  At Gourmet Thai I order the same, plus red curry beef and bring some back for my sister.  We love this stuff!

Also check out my new Food Page on IG: Foodie.Me.Foodie.You

September 20, 2015

Something Blue + Make Me Remember You

I love this pastel blue color.  Pastel colors are great on dark skin tones!
Little Gizmo did not want to step out of my picture (-__-).

Dress (has pockets):
Shoes: Audrey Brook
Accessories: Sam Moon

Make Me Remember You

Most people are busy...well, people who want the best experiences in life are busy, so they tend to have full schedules which pull them in many directions.  If you are interested in such a person, you must be distinct enough to keep their attention even if for a second or random sporadic moments. 

There are times when I forget to respond to a message or return a call because I get wrapped up in an email I just received, run into someone I can network with, get caught up in girl talk with friends, my kids want to go in the pool, or I pass out because I need a rest.  Either way, I do not intentionally ignore anyone...well, I do have a few names on the "Do Not Answer" list but, they did it to themselves...If you are someone I have interest in or our connection is relative or beneficial to my persona, then I will make a point to have time with and for you but, if you stay too absent from my mind or if you have proven to be a liability, then I begin to forget you.

Make me remember you like you remember me...

Car ride shenanigans are the best!

One of my best friends was getting married on September 19th and of course, I had to go home to visit to witness a beautiful affair and see some familiar faces.  I took a flight out Thursday evening and after I get my rental and checked into my hotel, I headed to WAWA!!!!  The struggle it is when no one understands what a Wawa run is.  It is a convenience store times 10.  You can get snacks, drinks, hot food to go, and great coffee, plus Wawa is also a gas station, so everything you need in one place...AND  they are open 24 hours!  I picked up an Italian hoagie and an iced coffee at 2:30am.  My next plan was to get a cheesesteak the following day....

You have no idea how long I have been wanting a juicy cheesesteak! Fried onions, mushrooms, ketchup, light mayo, and bell peppers all mixed in with chopped steak meat on roll....mmmmmmmmm.  I ate that so fast, my chest started hurting!  I also made my way to the Christiana Mall it has been ranked one of the top malls in the US to bring in the most revenue...Of course the tax free shopping may have something to do with that statistic...I strolled over to the FANZ shop and picked up all Eagles gear for my family.  There were a few Giants fans in there but, we were cordial. 

Now on with the wedding...
I love this family.
The bride is my best friend dancing with her husband and children....
her kids also happen to be my God children...
they have grown so much!
The other lady in the blue is also a childhood buddy.  We all share crazy memories together.
This extra young lady int he black is my best friend's cousin.
As I was growing up with my friend, I grew up with her family as well so I was excited to see them all.
15+ years of friendship between us right here.  
My two handsome God sons. 
More long time friends, also 15+ years strong.

I really enjoyed my time and plan to come home more often with my kids in tow.  
Below are some fun clips of the family and wedding party dance.

September 12, 2015

Black On + The Crazy One

Black is a timeless color and works great for any season and occasion.

Dress: Express
Belt: Chanel
Necklace: Target
Other Jewlery: Sam Moon
Hat: Sam Moon


The Crazy One

Look, I'm not proud of it but, I used to be the crazy woman who would call back to back to back if he did not answer.  I used to ask him where is he going, who is he going with, and when he will be back and if he was not back by the time he said he was going to be, then the phone calls started.  I have even locked-out his phone at least once when I could not get into it to see the messages and since we were on the same account, I would call the carrier to get info on his calls...yup, crazy but, in all fairness, my ex contributed to my crazy with his own foolish ways...I am not proud of who I was.  I hated those feelings.  The "not knowing" drove me insane!

And now....I really don't give a damn...but it's not that I do not care, it's more so, I am more aware of myself and what I will accept.  It will not bother me if there is a woman who keeps making her way next to you, it will not bother me if you two exchange numbers, it won't even bother me if you hug her hello or goodbye because what I am relying on is the interaction you and I have privately and publicly; the two should be cohesive.  I'm not saying we should have a make-out session in front of everyone but, how you attend to me will be the defining factor for other women.

You don't have to spell out to her that you are with me if you don't feel it necessary, she'll see it when you are close to me, she'll notice how you look at me, how you speak to me, and how you engage with me.  She will see the difference in your actions with her and as long as she doesn't get messy about it, we're me, I have grown tremendously over the years BUT, I will check that bitch and belittle her feeble minded thought process if you don't check her first!

One thing I am a firm believer of...A man must be sure that no other woman steps to his wife/lover about HIS actions.  Gentleman, do not let other women misconceive your interest in them.  Of course there are women who cannot help but think a man will step out on his heart for simple pleasures BUT, there are men who have dignity and know how to handle such women.

Look, I have gone through too much BS with my last run at love to be the same person again.  If our personalities do not blend and if we keep having conflicts, fine, let us cordially go our separate ways.  No love lost, no harm, no foul.  Just don't test me, I do not have the patience for the mind games and if you want to go toe to toe with a war of wits, YOU WILL on it!

I have a profession, I have this website, and I assists with a social group and their website, plus, I have two gremlins to entertain between all this, so keep the games for these women who have a idle schedules, I'll be over here reading up on SEO, Web Analytics, completing reports for clients, driving to piano lessons, getting prepared for this month's social brunches, and bothering my father about real estate details or what I looked up on WebMD.

I do not have the energy to waste on ill feelings towards anyone.  I wish everyone the best and I will keep close ties to those who I want to be elevated with me or to elevate me.

I do not place full blame on my ex about how my life was with him...I should have known better than to hold on to something that wasn't progressing.  I know better now...If a man I am interested in tells me that his thoughts are on someone else, then my affections for him shut off.  I will be disappointed at first but, I am not going to wait for a man to know how great I am.  It is the same notion if I notice a man behaving towards other women the same way he behaves towards me or if he proves to be someone who would be more or a liability than an asset....friend zone you go sir!..and do not blame me for your hurt did it to yourself.

Marriage Conscious

Also, you at least have to bring the the table what I am bringing.  I will not be a wife to a man who cannot provide for our home the same way I can provide for, trust, support, and stability.  I am also accustomed to living a certain can thank my Father for that...I sacrificed my way of living before; it won't happen can thank my ex for that.  

I have gone through the messy struggle of trust and fiances already.  I have supported a man through his "ambitions" and not have any peace of mind with his decisions.  I cannot and will not live like that again.  Any man who I consider marrying will need to have already laid some sort of foundation for stability, I'll help him build on that platform.  Or if he just needs comfort, he can look to me for it.  I believe that a man should be the main provider but, I won't let him do it alone and I'll make sure he has peace in our home so he can continue to be a strong force.  So if you are trying to pursue me...

Come equipped or not at all

Love You Soon,
Raya L. 

September 10, 2015

Belly Out + Where Did The Romance Go

I was hesitant to wear this outfit because of the cropped torso is not where I want it to be right now...but I gave it a shot anyway since the shorts are a bit high waist and covers most of my stomach.  I love the outfit.  It is very practical and great for the hot weather.

Shorts set: The Look Book Store
Hat: Sam Moon
Shoes: Nine West


Where Did The Romance Go?
Not too long ago I had a brief discussion with a gentleman about married couples having their own separate bedrooms.  There were 3 women at the table including myself and he ask us how we would feel if our future husband requested to have a separate bedroom.  Before he could explain his reasons, I was/am in agreement with the idea, which is what a "Man Cave" is meant for.  The gentleman's reasoning was for an undisturbed sleep throughout the night which is understandable.  My thoughts on it is allowing each other to have our own personal space. 

This is not to say that we sleep separately each night but, think about it, even though a house is built for the growth and union of a family, it is the woman who decorates it, maintains the furniture placement and replacement, keeps it clean or manages people to clean it, she makes it a home, so her touch is everywhere, a man needs his own space.

Hell, I'm not even opposed to us having 2 homes...let me explain...
I expect my future husband to already have a some established goals as I expect of myself, so it is likely that we will already have our own homes when we meet.  We can keep both homes and lease one out or if he has a condo style home, we can use it as a "cooling off" space or relaxing weekend getaway when needed.  And if he needs a few days to clear his mind, then I am just fine with that.

Regardless of the arrangement you and your spouse or future spouse have, it is not for me or anyone else to judge or even understand.  You and the person you stood in front of the Lord with are the only ones who should have a say in your plans together.  There is really nothing that a couple can say to me about their union that would make me seriously question, Why?  I understand with relationships that are worth it, people will make the decisions they need to make their marriage survive.  So just because you hear or see something that may be unorthodox, does not mean that there is no love or romance in the union.  Judge not what you think you see.


As some of you may know, I am an avid reader.  My current leisure is "The Picture of Dorian Gray" by Oscar Wilde. I am only few chapters in but, already I am in love, especially with Lord Henry Wotton.  I love Henry's thought process, his dry humor and cynicism, plus the old English way of speaking is beyond intriguing....if only men still spoke like that...and I almost love Henry as much as I love Jay Gatsby.  I have not gotten to the part where the magic of the picture happens but, I am sure it will be a great sensation of the mind.

PS: (Men, you can stop reading here.) - I love my new GYNO.  There was a change in my insurance so I had to pick a new one and it was time for me to do my yearly checkup plus, any other tests that needed to be done.  Dr. Anita Fulton is bubbly, has great mannerisms, and was very helpful with all of my questions...I had a pre-cancerous scare in 2009, so I am always nervous about that issue being present again.  Her office staff was also great.

Anita Fulton, MD
Spring, TX

September 6, 2015

5'4 + The Language I Do Not Speak


Don't you love it when you go through your closet and find things you have not worn in months, maybe years and yet, you manage to put an awesome look together?!

Top: Somewhere on South St., Philadelphia, circa 2002
Skirt: Unbranded (eBay)
Shoes: BCBG 

I am only 5'4...and I am just fine with that.


The Language I Do Not Speak

I do not speak "Dating."

I may be sounding like a broken record but, for every man I meet, I have to state my disclaimer:
I am not interesting in dating,
I do not want a forced love connection,
do not pressure me,
I will avoid you if you cannot comply.

Give me my time to become more, then I can be perfect for you...
If you are interested enough to still be around.
No further questions please.

Other Posts On Relationships, Dating, Love, and Strong Likes: 


But really...

The deepest secrets
Hide in the shadows
Of one's subconscious
To know my secrets
You must be prepared
To cringe
To fear me
To criticize me
To judge me
To understand me
To forgive me
To love me