October 25, 2015

Because I Must....

So the new year is going to come sooner than we expect...and I ordered a dress that I MUST look great in.  Which means...back the the diet I did for my birthday dress???...NO.

For two months I practically starved myself, chicken broth, diet pills, teas, laxatives, etc., just to get into this dress..it was not easy...This time around, I want to be consistent with HEALTHY eating so I do not have to resort to a crash diet each time I have a new dress to wear.  I enlisted the help of one of my friends who is into fitness and she is designing me a meal plan.  She says I cannot have pork, beef, white rice, and sugar!...Lord, help me through this.

This also means that I have to start cooking healthy.... (-___-)

Right now, I am very close to 150lbs...I was not this heavy then I was pregnant...I am only 5'4 so the weight does make a difference for me and even though everyone keeps telling me I do not need to diet...I know where I want to be weight wise and I know how I want my clothes to fit...I am a bit fluffy at the moment.

I do not have plans for New Year's yet.  I may stay local or I may travel, not sure but, I just know that I want to be ready either way....because this dress I have waiting to be worn is beyond your normal "freakum" dress and I'm taking prisoners!

October 19, 2015

The Gremlins + Silly Boys

Another Broken Egg Cafe
I am a very unorthodox parent.  Sometimes I speak to my children like they are adults in the sense that I use words and terms that most people would not use with small children because they feel the children will not understand but, one should never underestimate the intelligence of a child...how else is a child supposed to learn? Their teachers are not only limited to school facilities...If you teach them now, their learning faculties with have better knowledge and abilities to understanding this misguided world we live in.  Many times the kids and I have our serious discussions over brunch.

My daughter, 10, wants to work in Media,,,websites, YouTube, blogging, ecommerce, etc...."Ness, you will need to work on speaking clearing, enunciating your words and have your thoughts in order before you speak.  No one will pay attention if you are not precise about your topic." 

My son is 4 years old and sometimes I tell him that if he does not clean up his toys he will not be disciplined enough to work for himself..."Gabriel, I am not going to waste my money on Harvard if your just going to let your room look like a typhoon hit it."

And after our family meeting, Mommy gets to buy some new shoes.
P.S. - I have not bought Coach anything since freshman year of high school, I know it is still a popular brand, I just forget about it because of all these other brands popping up and being accessible to the masses...ehem...Michael Kors.  Me, I am still very much a Dooney & Burke girl. 

I remember, I bought my first Dooney in high school, senior year...I still have it by the way...I made a deal with my Father that if he lends me the money, I will do extra house work for a month!  So for four weeks, I mowed the lawn, pulled up weeds, mopped the kitchen floor, vacuumed, dusted, and did the dished more than I usually would.

Wait a minute,
now that I think about it, my Father may have been grooming me to be a wife...
keep the house cleaned; get gifts. (-__-) 
Touche Daddy.

Silly Boys

I am an '85 baby, so my generation is not particularly keen on dressing the "part" although, I notice a few here and there that have gotten the memo....Men! I need some of you to get it together!

I am very particular about how men present themselves and I am so disgusted with the pants clinging to dear life off your ass, and yet, you have a belt on...THIS IS NOT A FASHION STATEMENT!  It just looks messy and careless.  And what the hell is this red shirt all about?! I keep seeing men in these style shirts in many different colors.

 This looks like a women's dress! Why the zipper? Do your thighs need air?

If your shirt is more blinged out or more fancy than mine, then you are not my dude...you're my girlfriend...A plain shirt and jeans or slacks is just fine.  Don't over do it.  Dress like a man, not a child. 

You don't need to be dressed like you are going to a business meeting, just dress with some damn sense. You don't need fancy styles or opulent colors, YOU ARE A MAN NOT A WOMAN.  Who are you showing off for?  Us females?  Here's a newsflash...WOMEN ALREADY THINK YOU ARE ATTRACTIVE!

Here, let me help you out with a few examples:

See, basic. It's not that hard. Why make it more complicated than it needs to be?
But if you want to be fancy, take this route:

You're welcome.


....,but, my son can't cook yet. (-____-)

October 15, 2015

Effortless + Men Just Don't Listen

It does not take much effort to put a good work outfit together.
Just look for simple lines, basic patterns, and colors that compliment your skin tone.

Top: Upscale Boutique
Skirt: Upscale Boutique
Shoes: Nine West

Men Just Don't Listen

I should not have to go into detail about what I do not want ESPECIALLY if I already gave a man my disclaimer....

DISCLAIMER: Where my life is right now, I am not interested in anything serious.  I am open to making new connections and friendships but, my schedule and my mindset does not allow much room for a romance. You can either accept my friendship or nothing at all, either way, I will not be hindered.

I let everyone know this in so many words and I have mentioned my disclaimer before in a least two other posts, so how hard is this to understand?  Do not misinterpret what I say or how I behave with an interest for something serious.  I am personable and friendly with just about everyone, so do not expect anything special from me UNLESS I TELL YOU something different.  Do not assume that my past has anything to do with you...My past has no connection to my disinterest in you...Do not assume that I am playing hard to get...if I want you, you will not have a hard time getting me.

You can tell me over and over how much you like me, how much you want to get to know me, how honest you are, how much of a great man you are, and how you do not chase women...Great! You should like me, I'm awesome. You should want to get to know me, I am a good person to know. You should be honest, it's the best policy. You should be a great man, it's something to be proud of. You shouldn't have to chase a woman just like I will not chase a man.  So do you want a cookie for telling me all this?

*I can become very facetious and heartless when I feel like I am not being heard and understood.*

I will not coddle your bruised feelings because you think I should be head over heels about you since other women are...then take your ass to those who want you.

Here is how you can lose any possible interest from me and drop from friend to acquainted or worse, "just a random guy I know".....Be persistent in a way that forces me to look at you in a different light or in a way that goes against what you are saying to me.  It's good to go for what you want but, be sure that what you want also wants you back.  If you tell me you are fine with getting to know me then in the same breath, say that you don't want to be just friends...Dude! Why are you not listening?!  If you tell me you are patient but, then continue to say you want to be serious with me sooner than later...really, so you're just going to ignore my thoughts completely huh?  And do not make the foolish comment "One day you will wake up and realized what you missed."...Don't be so sure of yourself homie...

In the last 3/4 years, I have learned that some men may say or think he is being respectful, patient, and honest, but his mannerisms are very unbecoming and questionable to the type of man he "thinks" he is.  The unwelcome persistence is going to push me towards someone who really is patient and accepts my friendship for what I am willing to offer without too many expectations...I swear some of you men are going to make me run into the arms of ------- and make me fall in love with him! And when you see me perfectly happy and all smile next to my new husband, all of you will wonder wtf you did wrong...EVERYTHING! 

If I say I am not interested...I AM NOT INTERESTED...This is not code for you to try harder.  I do not know what type of women some of you men dealt with but, I will tell you if I like you in a romantic sense.  And if you feel I am shutting you out then it is probably because I am.  Yes, my ex has made it harder for men who want me. No, he is not the reason why you cannot have me right now.  I have goals I want to achieve and financial levels I want to be at...don't take my wants and turn them into my defenses towards you because it makes sense to YOU as to why I am not interested...I become more defensive when men do not listen.

October 12, 2015

Fresh Linen + Black Beauty + Wonderland

(Picture is circa 2014)
Convert your tube dress into a skirt. Yup, that's right, this white linen skirt is actually a tube dress!  I just folded the top down and make it look like a scrunched high waited skirt. 

Dress: Upscsale Boutique
Shirt: H&M
Bag: The Styled Shop (Sold Out)
Sunglasses: Kohl's 
Jewelry: Sam Moon

FLASHBACK 06/20/2014:  
Last week I purchased a new car! I was deciding between the Mercedes C300, BMW X5, Infiniti QX80, Honda Pilot, and GMC Terrain.  As you can see I chose the GMC.  I decided that where I am in my life, I really do not need a luxury vehicle and the upkeep on luxury vehicles is not something I want to throw my money into right now, especially since I've started investing my finances into entities which will produce more stability for my home.  I decided against the Pilot because I was coming out of a Pilot and really did not use the large space that size SUV offered. The Terrain was perfect, not a car, and not an oversize SUV.  It drives like a car so the speed pick up is much faster and it has just plenty of room for the kids.
I named her "Black Beauty" or "BB" for short.


So you know by now, I like to read, those who are new here...Hello, I'm Raya, I like to read...One of my all time favorite stories is Alice in Wonderland, not because of the theory that the author was drug induced when he wrote this story, even though that would explain a lot.  No, the author Charles Dodgson (pen name, Lewis Carroll) actually was a Deacon and an Oxford man who loved to write.  He became close to a family with children, one of them a young girl whom inspired the famous "Alice".  So really, he just wrote a story about a girl who explored the wonders of her imagination.

**Some colleges actually examine this story and have the students write their own dissertations on their translation of the book...I wish I had this class!

Why I like this story...well, it is just fascinating how Carroll created this whole world of nonsense and confusion with such colorful characters who led a little girl to excitement.  If I were Alice, I would sit on the beach all day with the Tweedles, the White Hare sitting next to me fiddling with his pocket watch, the Mad Hatter will be preparing our picnic tea party, while the Caterpillar is passing me the hookah stick.  The Red Queen will be off somewhere in the background in a pile of roses and we will all just sit on the sand watching the sun drown.

I did not get to do this for my 30th birthday BUT, for my 35th.....I am doing an Alice in Wonderland themed party!  And my lover (whoever that may be) will be my Mad Hatter....shhhhh, just let it happen dude.

My 40th will be a toss up between Gatsby and Greek Gods themes...yes, I am also intrigued by the Ancient Deities...Oh course I would be Hera, wife of Zeus, although I could be Nxy who was Chaos' wife; in Greek mythology, these two are the creators of the world, not Zeus and Hera.  But if all else fails and I do not have a counter body to be my matching partner then I can just portray Aphrodite, Goddess of Love and Beauty...but, I've got 10 years to plan this, so I am sure I can have it figured out by then.

Other Popular Posts: 

The Crazy One
Please Stop
Where Did The Romance Go
The Rise And Fall
The Beauty Of Him

October 6, 2015

More Low Key Pimpin' + Unplanned Saturday

Okay, okay, so these are not recent photos but, it just shows I can dress down.
Let me go search for the ones of me wearing some sneakers...

P.S. I love the old school graphic tees at Target! 
I always head over to the men's section and grab a few smalls for my closet. 


Unplanned Saturday

My friend's beau, started a new venture in alcohol promotions and they planned a private "How to drink wine" event.  I learned the 5 S's, the legs of a wine, the body of a wine, what to eat with certain wines, and how to hold a wine class.

So what was supposed to a meeting between myself and the other organizers of our women's social group, turned into a great tipsy dinner at Brio.  After the wine event, my friends and I needed some food and headed over to CityCentre to get some more drinks and a good meal.  As we arrived at Brio, we were placed on a wait list...apparently it was homecoming for all the local high schools since we notice almost all of the "teenies" dressed in tuxedos and party dresses...by the way, who the hell is going shopping with these young girls when they are picking out some of these dresses???  Many of them wore highly inappropriate outfits!  Any way, it took at while for us to be seated and when we finally sat, it took more time for a server to get to our table, one came eventually (a cutie at that and lucky him for getting a table full of fun loving women who flirted with him the entire time), the manager came shortly after him to ask us how we were doing.  I was on the phone during his table visit so I did not place my opinion and one of my friends was passed drunk that anything coming out of her mouth was hilariously useless to the cause.  So when the manager came back around, I mentioned that we should receive a complimentary bottle for our "pain & suffering"...of course if was being silly and playful, but I was damn serious about my request...The manager came through with a champagne bottle and we ended up having a nice little chat with the him about how he met his wife.  The ladies were discussing the woes of men and dating them, so I thought to ask the manager about his love life...yup, because I'm nosy like that and because I want compare notes on how I may have already met my future husband...He entertained us and was very personable.

And what was supposed to be my friend's "take myself on a movie date" turned in to a girls night out because 4 of her friends wanted to join her single date.  We went to see The Intern, which is a really cute movie. I love the story line of a woman starting a business from the ground up and facing struggles in her home life because she is so determined to succeed and provide the best for those around her but, with the help of her "Intern", she figures it out and allows her world to be as it should.

Moving On...

Well, can't find the sneaker pics but, instead I came across baby pictures of my babies!
Vanessa, then Gabriel. So cute at that age, both about 6-8 months old.
Now they are always in my face and asking for things!

I recently found out that Vanessa told her paternal granddad that she wants a little sister...
Well, she ain't getting one from me! That's for sure! She better see about her Daddy!
I need for these 2 to grow up so we can travel more...although, MY father takes them on at least two fancy vacations each year...smh...Pop-Pop can, Mommy is still working on it.

October 3, 2015

Target Style + Please Stop

I love that Target brings in designers for some of their featured items.  Right now, Adam Lippes is doing his special line.  His signature pattern is plaid and I love it! It's simple and classic.

Dress: Target
Shoes: Nine West
I finally got the chance to catch up with this food truck that I've been Instagram stalking for months called All Seasonz Grille.  I kept seeing the food pictures and the comments all are good saying that the food is amazing and very flavorful.  Of course I had to track this truck down!
  LOVED THE CATFISH! I was eating my food as I was driving back to the office...kids, please drive safely, Ms. Raya knows not what she does at times...My friend who was riding with me said I was growling as I was eating!!! I didn't even realize I was doing it!!!

Shrimp & Catfish Platter


Please Stop

Okay, I am going to need for people to stop getting engaged and married around me...I am all for loved and the sanctity of it but, damn, cut me a break.  I am just now starting to be 'okay' with the idea of love again, accepting it and giving it, I do not need to be bombarded with all these announcements! But, I do like a reason to go to Z Gallerie to shop for your gifts!

This also has me wondering to myself about my possible future marriage.  I know more of what I want now.  I want a husband who is also my best friend. Talk trash and be playful to each other but, still support one another through all our experiences together.

I keep joking to my friends that I may disappear for a month and come back married!  And my meaning behind this is, I am NOT dating for the sole purpose of wanting to make meaningful connections with people.  I want a solid friendship with a man who could be my husband.  If my friendship with someone reaches a point where we are both comfortable with one another, we have a full understanding of what we want and what our focus is, we truly love one another, there is no question of our faith for each other, etc., then yes, I may just end up engaged or married at any given point and YES, people will be surprised because I do not give everyone details of my personal/love life.  And everyone 'expects' two people to be dating before getting engaged, well, that is not how it is with me...I'm too old for a "boyfriend"...We are either friends or we are getting married, the in between is just messy and confusing and some people draw it out too long...Let's just build our friendship and decide somewhere down the line if marriage is for us...

  I don't even want an extravagant proposal and it doesn't have to be in front of a crowd of people...my Daddy doesn't need to be there...it just needs to be sweet and heartfelt.  But if he wants to make it a big gesture, then I am not going to refute it.  I will support my husband to be however he wants to propose to me...just don't let it be in a back alley in the slums of the city. Keep it classy, okay?