Method + Detachment

In his favor...
Dear Future Husband....when I look at you like this...

So let me tell you about Method at The Marque in CityCentre, Houston....

This place is great for events and gatherings.  The waitstaff is awesome, food delicious, and drinks, wonderful!  The ladies of MsIndependent and I met up there after work for social networking among us women.  I made some new connections and friends and before we all left, I asked the bartender (who's name is Ashley and was just a doll!) to make us a round of shots.  I do not remember what the shot was called but, it tasted very much like the milk in your bowl after your cereal is gone. It was Good!


Yes, we all get attached to someone.  Whether we are attracted to their looks, success, personality, sex, all of the above...we get attached.  But what if this attachment is just........nothing? 

Isn't it the same scenario, you meet someone, you like each other, the conversations are very involved, then time goes by and the interest seems to digress either from one side or both?

What does this say about us, that humans are fickle?  But what if you are the one still lingering on and the other person has seem to be more distant?  Should you ask why or should you just let it go and move on?  How do you detach yourself?  Should you fully detach yourself?  The human mind is a query but, the human emotion is more like a do you find your way out?

I guess the most "adult" resolution I can come up with is to back away. (Yes, adulting is hard.)  Sometimes people are nervous to reveal certain things because 1. they don't want to lie to you 2. they are afraid of how you may think and react or 3. you may cut ties from them and they don't want that.  Whatever the reason, if someone cannot explain their absence or lack of presence, then do you really want to continue to seek future possibilities with this person?  And if this person cannot consider how he/she used to be towards you compared to how he/she is now, then how do they really think of you?  Someone who is interested will want to keep your interest.  If that's gone then just let the messages go dry and the phone calls to be obsolete, this person may be doing you a favor and saving you from....yourself.

Never give someone privileges they did not earn and draw the line of what privileges a person can have.  You definitely do not want to keep recycling the same feelings for the same person.  Or worse, recycling the same disappointments.  Detach.


Google Reader said…
Interesting thoughts. But after talking to friends about this and similar subjects I have found, there are many instances where communication is the real culprit. One or both people is not expressing their feelings or concerns. They are not telling each other their expectations before and during the relationship.

I'm 45 now and I have no time to mince words and play games in friendships or relationships. I'm going to tell you what I want, how I feel and what I'm willing to give or do. Not only that but I will let you know what I expect and what I'm willing to endure or tolerate. From that point on I am open to negotiate and maybe compromise, if we can't meet a mutual agreement then no hard feelings but I'm out. It's not business but in a way it is. Before I invest my emotions, my time and my self I have to be real to me and you (so to speak).

My feeling is, if you go into any relationship, friend, love our business that way and stay true you minimize your losses.

My 2 cents.
Raya L. said…
Thank you. I love your response and completely agree that communication is the factor of may evils. Either we are too guarded to state what is on our minds we are really not interested and do not take the time to make it clear to the other person. :)

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