See Me Less

"If you see me less, I am doing more." - Unknown

I was in a mass rush, trying to put my heels on, making sure my hair was presentable, and my dress was appropriate.  Lip gloss; check. Earrings, watch, back up flats; check, check, check.  Business cards; check. Kids bathed, yes.  Report done and ready for the morning, yes. Alarm set for 1 hour earlier than usual...ummm, yes.  Did I wash my car? Do I need to? Do I have time to swing through the wash? Crap, my jacket is still at the cleaners, I'll go there first. I need to get my nails done soon. Volunteering this weekend.  Wait, ATM? Yes.  Phone rings, "Hello?"

I let the caller know I was heading out the door because I had an important engagement to get to and that I cannot be out too long since I have a task for work early in the morning so the kids needs be ready on time.  Then the caller says, "You are doing too much because you are single."

......Ummm, run that by me again.

The caller goes into explanation. After attentively listening to the detailed reasons, I thought to this correct? Would my life be more organized if I had someone to help me categorized my tasks? To maybe pick up dinner on the way home because I got caught up with work.  To make sure my car is cleaned regularly.  To help me dress for important events and to accompany me to them.  Would I need to be so busy if I had someone? Am I busy because I am single? Would he want me to be home when he is home?  Would he encourage me to make more business connections? 

I consider myself an organized person.  I keep an agenda and small note pad in my bag and my one of my phone screens is the calendar widget with all the reminders set to alert me.  But, would my weeks go a bit more smooth if I had a man to help me navigate through it?  It sure as hell wasn't smooth when I used to have one of those!

But, if I were to consider one right now, what if his schedule is just a full as mine?  What if he has meetings every day and needs to be in a different city every other week?  What if he is constantly meeting new prospects?  What if he works late? What if he has children too?  Would I then help him in his organization?  Do we help each other?  Would he want me to accommodate his schedule first?

With all these thoughts, I came to this conclusion...and this is why I am single. I wonder too much about how something will work instead of allowing it to work...because being someone who has many titles, my mind automatically inquires how someone will benefit me and my life, furthermore, me benefiting him and his life.  I cannot just accept anyone, this person has to know and understand my desires, just as I must know and understand his desires.  I refuse to force anything and I refuse to be the woman who just gets married because she only wants a ring and the title of a wife...I want it all...and I want him to want it all and want it all for us.


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