June 25, 2016

Mendes + The Proposal


This dress was really a surprise find: New York & Company 
Over the years, the store itself has somewhat become something similar to....well, a secondary brand to a third choice...harsh, but true...they have even brought in Eva Mendes to advertise a line within the shop to revive the name...it kind of worked.  This dress is from the Mendes selection.  The tailoring from the waist down is flattering but, the waist up, well let's just say maybe it is because I am lacking in the chest area that this dress was not as fitting on top.  Overall, I did get a lot of compliments and someone stated that I looked like a "Rich Man's Wife"....whatever that is supposed to mean.





MY THOUGHTS:
The Proposal


I honestly believe that for a relationship to begin and be validated, the man is the one who needs to present a woman with one (see here for another post reference).  But does that mean that a woman needs to drop hints to the man she wants a relationship with?  If I like a man on a more personal level, then I will make it known to him....and I am not talking about simple friendly behavior like calling him and asking how his day was, because I did have several experiences where a platonic guy friend misinterpreted my behavior and thought I was interested in something more.  No, I am talking about a more personal and intimate behavior where I am the one who is forward with romantic topics.  If nothing else, I am great with my words and I am good with conveying what I think about a man I may be interested in.  And if that man does not pick up on my interest towards him, then I'm not going to keep voicing my thoughts, I am going to eventually grow weary and move on.  

But what if a man whom I do like were to ask me...ME...to be his lady?  Men have far less patience than women; what if a man were patient enough to deal with me...ME?

There may be men who are interested in me but, I do not have interest in all these men and I do not think any of them really know me so well that they know how skewed my mind has become towards men and relationships...well, unless they are avid readers of my blog, then all bets are off...but could a man really be willing to dig through my psyche and break down everything I built up to keep him out?

I don't know how to be in a relationship.  The only real experience I had with one ended in disaster...even though I came out of the mess like a shooting star, it was still very trying to my persona...Could the man who wants me be able to understand all of that?  Could he be so benevolent towards my guarded heart that he is able to find what I once lost?  If a man were to propose a relationship, I do not know how I would respond.  Correction, if the right man wanted to procure me, I definitely would not know how to respond...and this is where my true insecurity comes in...What if I am not fit to be in a relationship?...Am I aware enough to identify when I am pushing him away?  Am I healed enough to reciprocate his affections?  Am I caring enough to comfort him when he needs me without asking me?  Am I unselfish enough to love him as he loves me?

Is this what we all unconsciously think when considering relationships?  Or do most of us just take the dive and see how well we can swim against any currents.  What if people stated these thoughts before entering a union?  Would it open more lines of communication and understanding?

Lord, please just bring me a patient man...a very, VERY, patient man.

Want to share your thoughts? Send me an email: xoxo.rayal@gmail.com 

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