Production + Growing Cold

Dress: Upscale Boutique (Woodlands, TX)
Coat: Forever21 SOLD OUT
Bag: Robert Graham SOLD OUT
Shoes: INC 
*I love these shoes so much that I purchased 3 more of the exact same style and color. 
You can never go wrong with a basic nude pump!


Growing Cold

I've admitted to a few people that I am becoming very comfortable with being a "Table for 1".

This is not because I don't like being around people, it's because I have realized that people (men) do not fully accept me, my process.  Let me explain....

The men I have met do enjoy me and enjoy my company.  They entertain my dialogue, we joke we laugh, we have a good time, and when I tell them about my goals, they give me all praises...until... we discuss relationships or they made the decision to consider me to be a girlfriend instead of having me be a genuine, caring, and supportive friend.  Yes, I am a much better friend than a partner right now and that will change once I achieve a few more steps but, right now....NO.  

And, I always say that it's the men who start the relationship, so I give these men the applause for approaching me with their thoughts!  I understand that we all need companionship and no one should ever be too busy to have someone to enjoy life with BUT, I need to get some shit done first...BY MY DAMN SELF!  There are certain achievements I WANT TO DO ALONE.  

I don't mind spending time with someone and taking a moment to breathe but, when that time is up, I need to get back to business.  Yes, I'd love to have someone by my side to support me and cheer me on but, I'm still going to continue my plan without a personal cheerleader.  Plus, I just don't want a cheerleader, I want a leader who I can admire and motivate me to be even greater.  I also don't want to start a relationship and only be able to bring half of what he is able to bring to the table.  I want to be able to call him and say, "Hey baby, I know we've been working a lot and we've not had much time for each other, so I booked us a trip to Fiji!" A man deserves to be spoiled too, especially a good man and I'm already the type of person to put a lot of thought in the gifts I give.  I want to live the life I want and be able to enjoy the fruits of my labor, I want my partner to have the same focus.  So when I do reach a point when it's time for me to give my heart to someone, we both will be blessed.

Why is it such a conundrum for some men to accept a women who can provide handsomely for herself and her family?  Or accept that a woman is honest about not being ready for a relationship?  When I do come across people like this or when a man reveals his true thoughts on how a woman needs to be, I automatically shut off my emotions (or what little I expose) and rethink my communication with a man.  I recently had to stop all communication with someone because every time we spoke, he would only wanted to talk about a relationship and because he did not understand why I wasn't open to the idea, he began to make assumptions of me...I don't like that, AT ALL!...  I've learned to block out what will not be conducive to my growth and success.

Some people have said, "It will take the right man to make you think differently and see that you need him now and not later." ...and they are absolutely correct.

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KappaMan said…
Again, I want to apologize for my comments on your last post. I meant no harm to you or Nupe. and after reading this new post, I can better understand the pressure you are under. I wish you well.
Raya L. said…
It's okay. You do not know me and I find it hard to believe that you may personally know him. Either way, what is to happen will happen. He has his vision, I have mine and we are friends whom are in agreement with our decisions. We wish each other the best and cherish the connection we have. If we find the time for one another, we will make the most of it as we've done any other time. But as of right now, we have a set journey we wish to accomplish for ourselves.

Thank you, have a good evening.
Anonymous said…
.....that awkward moment when you are reading the comments and wonder what's really going down in Raya's life. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.....
Raya L. said…
Ha!!! Absolutely nothing! Please do not read much into anything.

There is so much more than what meets the eye and what I reveal to the public. It may be hard to believe, but I am very much a private person and like my privacy.
B said…
I love you
Raya L. said… about awkward....

Lol. Thank you!

You should, I'm lovable!!!!
Anonymous said…
Good relationships don't just happen.

They take time, patience, and two people who truly want to be together.

You will be just fine young lady. You are the woman many men want but, in turn, you are only devoted to one. That's a great attribute. Not many people can sustain their individual routes without being distracted by attention from those who don't have the best intentions.
Anonymous said…
I think people don't realize how much it takes to make a relationship work and if you have other things going on in your life then you really can't give a relationship the attention it needs to survive. It's great that you are aware you cannot do this at this time. Some people try to squeeze a relationship into their lives and end up with more stress and pressure because they don't have the energy to pay attention to the small details the keep a healthy relationship going.
Raya L. said…
Yes indeed.

...and the best women are very selective. 😉
Anonymous said…
Yes some of these comments do make you wonder. �� What's really good ma'am. Are you really really single or are you in a secret match with this unknown man.
Raya L. said…
Oh my goodness! Lol. Please don't get sucked in to someone else's speculations! I can honestly say that I am single and I have not seen this "unknown man" aka my friend in a lengthy period of time.

This is really not a 'new'topic. Someone just decided to revive something that I've said time and time before....and nothing has changed.
Anonymous said…
You seem like a really good woman Ms Lady. The man who does catch your attention should know how blessed he is.
GlassesShop said…
I truly appreciate this blog post.

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