Handle With Care

Do you ever have moments when you ask yourself "Why?"

-Why are you working so hard?
-Why do you want this so much?
-Why do you care?
-Why do you smile when you really want to scream?
-Why do you answer "Everything is okay" when it's not?

These moments of questioning is a process of self reflection.  You argue with yourself because you are exhausted and almost depleted to the point of What is the point?  But, just remember, if you stop now, everything that you worked for would have been for nothing and who else is going to pick up your slack for YOU?

You can reach out to friends and family, you can vent, you can lock yourself away but, YOU still have to get your shit done.  Go ahead and cry yourself a river, pour you a glass of wine, soak in the tub, and let it all out.  Then dry yourself off, get some sleep, and start a new day.

These moments are a bit harder for those who are single because you are ideally by yourself and going through this process alone is an ordeal but, those who have a partner also have a role, an expectation, to do their part.  A relationship is work, yet the two of you should be able to pull each other through any personal turmoil.

I've always said, I don't want to be a "housewife" and my future husband will have to understand that everything I am working for now, I am bringing into the marriage.  So we are definitely going to be two working people with our own drive to succeed.  And if he's had a hard day at work, I want to make him feel better.  If I've had some problems in the office, I'd like him to ease my headache.  But, even with this topic, I tend to ask myself...

-Am I living in a manner that will make me a good wife?
-Am I practicing ideals that would make a man proud to have me?
-Is my wall really necessary?
-Is keeping myself hidden away conducive? 
-Should I continue to "wait"?

It's all frustrating and overwhelming but, you still have to handle yourself with care and remind yourself why you are doing what you are doing and what your end goal is.  If you need to take a break, do so, and come back refreshed and ready to hit the ground running.  The point is to become Stronger.

I wore this look on the day the Eagles played the Steelers but, before the game, I attended church and a brunch, so I had to be a lady, although, I still was not above talking trash!

Right now, the Birds are 3-0.  So guess who's a happy girl...

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Anonymous said…
You just need that one good man to step in and take control. Not take control of you but to just let you know he is there for you at a time of distress. You can do it alone but you should have to.
T. said…
I agree with the first comment. I've been following your blog for a whIle now and noticed a few changes here and there. I like that you're a single mom and is out there living wonderfully but, as I can tell from your posts, there is not reason that you are not close to marriage. What ever happen to the man you referenced every now and again. Why have you 2 not made something official. If I recall correctly, it was over a year ago since you met right? And if he has not said something, why don't you make mention of it? There is nothing wrong with asking a man what he thinks of you. You do need someone by your side.
KappaMan said…
Tell Nupe to get on it. Women don't get no better than this.
Anonymous said…
Well you are a stubborn taurus. Usually bullheaded people fight with themselves because they don't like to give in and they end up taking on the world alone when they don't have to. It's okay to let your guard down Raya and allow someone to care about you. And who ever this man is that the other comments are about, maybe you should say something. It might turn out to be great.
Jenell said…
I was a single mom for 6 years before I married my amazing husband. We had been friends before we started dating. And I would feel this way sometimes. I felt like overworked, and always stressed about not getting things done or not pleasing pleasing people. I had a few moments where I just shut down and didn't talk to anyone for days. It wasn't easy. Sometimes I do this now, but my husband makes the process of getting through it a lot easier. Some great man will see the amazing woman you are and he won't let you go at this without him. Just wait. The Lord hasaid great things in store for you!
Raya L. said…
Thank you. Eventually I will be ready for him, whoever he may be.
Raya L. said…
Thank you for following my blog. I greatly appreciate it! My friend and I are still good friends. Yes, it has been over a year and we both are in similar modes in our lives right now. So at best, we are understanding of one another. He is a great guy.
Raya L. said…
Lol. Thank you. I can assure you he knows me enough to know the kind of woman I am and I doubt he has any ill things to say about me. As I mentioned in the previous comment, we are both at a similar phase in our lives and need to focus on certain things before allowing to let someone into our lives in that caliber.

And if you know him personally, then you know what all he has on his plate, it would not be fair to each other to start something that we cannot fully give to right now.
KappaMan said…
Look here, even a busy man needs a good woman. Nupe need to stop sleeping before he misses out.
Raya L. said…
There's no need to go back and forth about it. He is not missing out on anything. He's good.
KappaMan said…
If you say so ma'am. All I'm saying is, if he's known you for a minute then he should know that you're only going to make him better. And you getting defensive about it tells me that you're for him, so why he not making something happen?
Raya L. said…
I support all my friends, because I believe in all of my friends. So yes, I will become defensive and protective if I feel someone is stripping my friends of what good is see in them.

And if you are part of the same fraternity, shouldn't you be supportive as well? Isn't there a level of respect that you have for your brothers?

You can't personally know him because the frat brothers I met around him are in full support and respect of him and each other. And I don't know much about fraternities nor do I know many men who belong to them but, from what I witness with him, I praise his chapter for being the men I've seen them to be.
KappaMan said…
Ma'am you are correct and I apologize. I did not mean to offend you or my frat. We are honorable men. I just hope he doesn't pass up on a good thing. Have a good evening.
Raya L. said…
Ha! I do not really follow zodiacs, although many of the details seem to be accurate considering the stubborn part to be very true. It may be a flaw I still need to work on and that bullheaded characteristic may be a big part on why my guard is continuing to stay up. We shall see, I still have time...I hope! Lol. Have a good day.
Raya L. said…
Hello Jenell, I go through similar things when I am overwhelmed, I completely shut off. I don't answer my phone and cancel things. Sometimes my friends worry and think may be I am upset with them, but I'm not and eventually they have learn me enough to know that I do this at times and it's nothing against anyone.

And congratulations on finding love, I'm sure it wasn't easy, but anything that's worth it isn't easy right?

Sometimes what I ponder on, is that it seems as though it's okay for a man to be single and have a lot on his plate because he is expected to take on the world like a superhero, but if a woman is doing it alone, she needs someone....a bit bias huh? Although, I get it, society still has somewhat traditional ideals about men and women. Eh, such is life.

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