Is a Married Man Worth the Effort?

Is a Married Man Worth the Effort?

The other week, I had dinner with a good friend whom is married and we touched on this topic...

Many women find interest in married or unavailable men.


I guess I should not be surprised considering my own experience.  Men in relationships seem to attract more women than those whom are not in relationships.  My friend confirmed it when he stated he notice more women approach him now than before he was marriage.


What does a married man have that a single man doesn't?

Proof to Commit: Of all other possibilities that may make a married man appealing, the thought of him making a commitment is highly attractive.  There is a deep appreciation when a woman learns that a man has dedicated himself to one partner.  Then where do her thoughts wonder after knowing this information?  'Maybe he too can commit to me?' Or 'Well, he's married so I don't have to really care what he does after he leaves my bed.' (Scandalous heffas!)

What does it take for a man to be faithful to his wife?

Love, Discipline, & Prayer: Whether he is a praying man, a spiritual man, or just a man.  He still needs to embody the ideas of hope and faith.  He should be able to control himself against the odds and he should not forget the love he has for is wife.  The best thing my dinner companion said was, "It takes a strong man to be married." I agree.  It takes a strong man to identify a potential threat to his marriage and to stay clear of women who test him.  It also takes a strong man to identify that he cannot commit and be honest to the women about it...but this is for another topic.

Another friend of mine disclosed that she had a 10 year affair with a married man.  No, I didn't call her a whore and throw rocks at her.  She made a decision that please her heart at the time.  She did not know his wife and she admitted that she felt little remorse over it.  What she liked about this man was how he treated her.  She said he made her feel like he really loved her but, eventually she did not see a solid future with him and decided to end it.  Good for her.

But this made me was this married man treating his wife?  Was he that good to juggle two women without having his wife become suspicious? Were there more women?  Did he have that much love to give that he could just come and go as he pleased in my friend's life?

Some of you men really ain't shit.  Yeah, I said it.

Can a married man really keep his home life separate from his adulterous life?  I do not believe so.  What is done in the dark will eventually come to light.  Just recently I read an article about a local, high profile lawyer whom was allegedly having an affair.  His wife caught wind of it and seen the other woman leaving her husband's office.  As the report reads, the wife attacked the jezebel leaving her bloody and bruised on the floor.  EMS had to be called, it was not pretty.  Was this a victory for the wives?  I can't say since we are unsure if the lawyer came to his mistress's aid or if he realized his foul doing and is now trying to do right by his wife.  Yet, I did want to fist pump for the wife when I saw how badly she beat the other woman.

We've seen many stories in the media about well known names being involved in a love triangle.  A few times we've witnessed the mistress win over the husband!  Some of the wins are long lasting while others are pending demise.  I guess love can be found with a married man but, at what cost?  And are you willing to pay that bounty?

No thank you, I'll pass.

Those who lost their husbands to the other woman, trust me, it was a win for YOU, no matter if he is happy or worse off without you, you still won, especially if you were the one who decided to pack up and leave!  Those who gained a husband who was married, cheers to you for now always wondering if you will lose him the same way you got him.  If you do lose him, take that lesson and go on, but maybe you will have him forever, who knows.  Yet, that insecurity will continue to dwell in you and you'll hold on to him with every last breathe because you just can't bare to be wrong and alone.

-Love Raya


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Tricia said…
I love this post!!! I just sent you an email. Please check it when you can.
Steve said…
Yup. Women see my ring ando ask me how long I been married. How I met my wife. If we have kids. That's how it starts.

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