February 29, 2016

Busy + Just One Please

Some days, I don't know whether I am coming or going but, I still keep moving.


Since the holidays last year, I've been nonstop. Working, traveling, making business connections, making new friends, and creating stronger bonds with great people.

I cannot express how pleased I am with my life currently although, that does not mean there is no room for improvement, I am always learning and excelling and preparing for the next step, never forgetting the journey I crawled, walked, ran, cried, and smiled through.


....excuse my Asian-ness, when I heard the Hello Kitty Cafe Truck was in my area, I had to go see it!  There was a 2 hour line just to purchase their treats!  No, I did not wait, I just went to took pictures. 


MY THOUGHTS:
Just One Please


I do a lot of things alone.  Not because I am single or that I do not have many friends, no; because I like experiencing things on my own.  I like to be in my own space, in my own thoughts, and not be drawn into conversation or in someone's company all the time.  Many times I dine out alone, shop alone, go to the movies alone, and travel alone.

Because I am single, does not mean I am lonely.  And to be honest, I plan to still do things by myself when I do get back into a relationship.  I will still want my "me" time as well as I am sure he will want his...hence a reason for a "man-cave".

Recently, I was at a friend's birthday celebration and a mutual friend of ours approached me and said, "I do not understand why you are single."  My simple response to these types of questions are, "I'm too busy." or "I am not looking for a relationship right now."...which is how I responded.  For some reason this gentleman assumed that because I was "just one", that I was also lonely or missing out on something great telling me I needed to be a "plus one".  He made comments about being with someone to share you experiences with, and how it's not worth it if you are by yourself, and needing to find a good mate.  Then he hits me with the, "We should get to know each other more and hang out sometime."....yup, he tried it...automatic NO. 

#1: He approached me completely off key.
#2: He assumed without merit.
#3: He tried way too hard.

Why can I not openly state that I am single without someone thinking that I am just some lonely woman waiting for the right guy?  If I connect with someone, great, but I do not want to be forced into anything or coaxed into something without any form of understanding.

No, humans are not built to travel through this life by themselves, I get it.  We are born with mechanisms to intertwine with others and make links...but allow me to embrace the idea of a partner or give me a chance to speak my stance about my life before you just "attack" me with suggestions of my love life.

February 26, 2016

Be You + I Can't


Your uniqueness is what makes you...You.  Why try to duplicate someone else's persona? 
We can admire but, never emulate. 

As much as I like to be "pretty" and presentable, I have no issues being my natural self.  I admire women who carry themselves with class and dignity;  I translate that admiration through my own style but, I never duplicate someone else's image.  I like who I am.  I say inappropriate things, I make lewd comments, I eat like a man, I burp out loud...but for the most part, it's all in fun and I still maintain a level of grace.  Anyone who has gotten to know me is well aware of my "special" character.

Be You.



MY THOUGHTS:


I can't, I just can't.

Why do we support these types of thoughts?  This is not conducive to those who aspire to have a healthy and faithful marriage or relationship.  Every time I log onto Facebook or Instagram, I constantly see memes about "sidechicks" or "Having a wife and a girlfriend".  Is this what I have to look forward to?  The same scenario I came out of?  The sad part is, many men honor this and some women are actually OKAY with these types of arrangements!  I do not ever want someone else's husband or potential husband and I never again want to have a relationship where there is another woman sitting on the sideline waiting for him to leave me or for me to leave him.  I refuse to subject myself to that life again.  I have become so much more and identified what I definitely do not want in my next relationship.


As many defenses as I have against relationship and men.  I still want to be married to one but, I don't want my marriage to come with these types of conditions.

ALSO.....
I still can't.

February 24, 2016

Fatty + Defending Your Partner


If I keep this up, I won't be able to fit this dress anymore!


MY THOUGHTS:
Defending Your Partner

There will always be critics everywhere and some may not say the nicest things to or about your partner but, not matter the condition of your relationship, always, ALWAYS, defend the one you are with.  If there are real issues, discuss them in private but, never give the world a reason to negatively contribute to any matters that you and your partner need to figure out together. 


If you are unfamiliar with DeVon Franklin and his wife Meagan Good, they were married in 2012.  Franklin is known for being a preacher and motivational speaker, while Good is an actress, more recently see in "Think Like A Man".  Both have strong Christian values but, Good has been criticized for her outfit choices.  The couple were recently promoting their book when a woman stood up and addressed Good about her revealing outfits....

Woman -“This is not offensive, but I was at the grocery store and I looked at a newsstand and saw you and you had your breast showing. I wasn’t gonna come here, I wasn’t, but the Lord brought me here to see you. You’re beautiful. You are a beautiful young woman and your testimony is awesome. It’s awesome. Amen. Amen! The Lord let me come and push past the judgment, because you have to make sure what you say and what you do match up, you understand? So, we’re gonna cover up, right?

Why this woman felt she needed to do this, who know BUT, Franklin went from a pastor to a protective husband and defended his wife.

Franklin -“Wait a minute — no! No. Nuh-unh. That is not what we’re here for. She’s not gonna cover up. She’s going to wear what she wants to wear in the name of Jesus…amen. Amen? Amen. Yes she will! God bless you, we love you, I love you dearly but she has been as Christian as she is right now when she wore whatever she wanted to wear, so no we ain’t doing that!

He then gave his wife a passionate kiss seeing that she was upset by the woman's words and positioned himself even closer to her, letting it show that he was her protector and NO ONE was going to harm his precious wife.

AND THAT'S HOW YOU DEFEND YOUR SPOUSE...LIKE A BOSS!

See the video clip HERE

February 20, 2016

Just Chill + Ex Communications


Hat + Star Wars + Leggings + Boots = DOPE


MY THOUGHTS: 
Ex Communications


Do you still keep in contact with your ex? 

For me, I only have one true ex and I roughly speak to him about 3-4 times a year and this is only because we have children together, other than that, I would have no reason to speak with him.  I also have one person I considered something serious with but, that digressed and I do not speak with him at all. (And let's be clear on "dating"...if you are dating someone, it does not mean you two are in a relationship.  Dating is just what it is, DATING: getting to know one another with the possibility of a relationship.)

Although, I do know that some people still keep open communication with their ex-partners, so let me point out the 'grey' areas...

I do not find it taboo for someone to still speak with their ex.  If I am involved with a man who does this, it would not necessarily bother me BUT, there would be a yellow flag raised and my ears would perk up anytime he mentions interactions with the ex.

I can understand the two have history but, I would be very keen on how involved the communication between the two are.  If it is kept at a good distance, I'm okay with that because sometimes we need input from someone who knows us in a particular nature but, if he tells me that he needs to go console her or help her with something then the flag will turn to orange and possibly red.

I fully believe that the past is the past and that is where it needs to stay.  The closer you get to someone new, the further you need to scoot your chair away from your ex *if you've not done that already.  I do not feel it appropriate for a man or woman whom may be in a new relationship to entertain possibilities of having an "ops" moment with an ex...the flesh can be weak but, I will not give the Devil the opportunity... 

February 17, 2016

Robe + Choosing


No, this is not a robe although I do have a black silk robe that looks very much like this but, NO this is a DRESS I purchased at Express.  (Can you sense that people were looking at me like I was wearing "bed time" garments?)....Yeah, ummm, I'm not that daring with style.


Moving on...before we go into my written thoughts, here is my opinion on a recent topic I discussed with several friends.


> Because someone is single does not always mean they are available. <

MY THOUGHTS:
Choosing


I have said it before and I will continue to say it because I fully believe it:

"The MAN, is the one who decides if there is a relationship or not."

And as mentioned in a previous post...for him to be my partner, my love, my life, and his support, I need him to begin the relationship in Lead. (See post HERE)

At most, I may ask a man what his future plans are in regards to his personal life but, I will NOT ask him to pursue a relationship with me. I may not be completely ready for a relationship but, if a man were to present me with one, I may consider it. Yet, keep in mind, I will not consider just any man.  Some random dude can't just come out of the woodwork asking me to be his lady, NO, I do have standards.

February 14, 2016

Valentine's Day 2016



Happy Valenti....eh, whatever.



Here's the post from 2015 VDAY.


This morning my pastor spoke words of thoughts I've always had 
and ideas my father embedded in me...

1. "You don't want to present yourself in a way that gives someone the wrong opinion of you.
(Show the world you respect yourself if you want respect to be returned, it may not always happen but, as long as you know you presented your best.)

2. "How you treat the creation is a reflection on how you feel about the creator."
(How you treat yourself, how you treat your family, friends, acquaintances, people you don't know, the enviroment all matter.)


Dress: Upscale Boutique (Woodlands, TX)


I spent my day with these two little humans.
We started off a church, then had lunch, then went for special ice cream...


Sub Zero Ice Cream shoppe has an interesting concept.  Cream mixed with other flavorful ingredients are frozen with liquid nitrogen to make a traditionally delicious treat.


February 9, 2016

Love + Hate It


I absolutely LOVE this dress!


It's girly, clean lines, and a fits me well.  It is a wee bit short but, I can manage it.

Dress: BooHoo.com



MY THOUGHTS:
Hate It


Dating in my 20s...I didn't do much of that since for the majority of the time I was involved.
Dating in my 30s...still not much there, since I just don't have the time or the tolerance for men who do not understand my visions for myself. Yes, this sounds a bit selfish but, I have to consider myself first before I consider someone else right?

I did the whole online thing (see here) and although I met some good guys, still no love connection and one of the men I met became "DONOTANSWER" in my phone...yes, he was a bad pick. All seemed good at first, hard working man, family oriented but...then he started to get too comfortable with speaking AT me a certain way and thought it was funny, even after I let him know I was not okay with it.  Every few weeks I get a "thinking about you" text...Yeah, I'm sure you are bruh...

I did the whole 'meeting men through mutual friends' thing, again some good guys but, no catch for me.  Annnnnd, one of the men I met through a mutual friend became "DONOTANSWER2"...yup, this one was just too insistent and came on too strong...calling me his "wife" only after a few conversations.  MIND YOU, in these few conversations I had with him, I let him know I was NOT interested...maybe he thought that was code for him to try harder.  No dude, that was code to be easy and back off.

Way before 2015 even ended, the bulk of my phone contents consisted of work/business emails, text messages with girlfriends, and phone calls to my Dad, Sister, and Daughter.

Lord, just wrap my husband up in a tailored suit and sit him on my doorstep with a princess cut diamond on a gold setting in a size 6.  Be sure he has all the makings of a good man: focused on comfort and stability, doesn't make bad judgement calls that could hinder our home or our family, knows how to cook, likes to eat, is personable, likes to travel, has traveled, is funny, can understand my humor, not afraid to be vulnerable with me, randomly touches, hugs or kisses me just because, likes to look good but, not conceited or arrogant, is humble and just enjoys the beauty of humanity and life....and looks at me like I'm the greatest blessing he has ever received.  Please and Thank you.

February 4, 2016

Chilled + Alone


I swear, I just have random pieces in my closet and just throw them together.


MY THOUGHTS:
Alone


Sometimes nothing wrong has to happen; our week could have been great, enjoyed brunch with the girls, quality time with someone special, work completed, kids cared for, and everything is as it should be but....we still like time to be alone and reflect on our growth; recall the conversations with our friends, smile at the butterflies we felt because of him, the long hours on the computer organizing our reports, and the clean up after dinner when the little ones are sleeping....just let us....breathe.

Just for Laughs