Instant Affairs

As I've grown, the idea of an instant love affair has become a vague interest in my world.  Why must everything happen so quickly?  It'd be best to say, No, I do not believe in Love at first sight.

I was conversing with a male friend the other day and he made a comment that he cannot believe men are not showing much interest in me, which let me to think about my interactions with men in its entirety...


Man - "Oh, I think it's great that your are goal oriented and spend time with your family.  It's good to see a woman who is about her business."

2 Days Later

Text Messages

Man - (8:26 am) Good morning beautiful. Hope you have a great day.

Man - (11:32am) How is your day going so far?

Woman - (2:16pm) It's good. I've been really busy, I'll catch up with you when I can.

1 Day Later

Text Messages

Man - (3:49pm) I texted you a few times, you didn't respond.  Are you okay?

Man - (7:24pm) How about we do dinner sometime?

Man - (8:01pm) I'm really trying to get to know you. You seem to not be interested. I'm a good man...blah, blah, blah.

**First, let me make note that the above information is not an actual dialogue between me and any particular man, this is more of a generalization of the comments or thoughts I receive from different men.

I cannot speak for all women but, this bothers me.  If I tell you I have a lot going on in my life and one thing that is not on the top of my list is a relationship, and you see this as a great attribute in a woman, then why is it that you begin to behave differently when you realized... "Oh wow, she really is busy."  - Uhhh....yes, dumbass, I told you that when you met me.  I wasn't telling you to impress you.  Your presence in my life right now is irrelevant and you definitely need to be mindful of how your delivery is towards me if you want to have any significance.  Is this selfish of me?  Maybe, but try to understand my thought process...

Why does he feel the need to constantly chat with me?
I am not going to stop what I am doing at work or take myself from my children because a man, who I just met, wants to speak to me about my day, or my plans, or whatever he wants to talk to me about.  If I have the time, I will respond but, it will not be constant or even instant.

Why is he giving me empty compliments?
Calling me gorgeous or pretty is cute but, it doesn't give me butterflies.  What is his intention behind that?  Does he think because he brings attention to my appearance that I am going to commit myself to him?  I never understood that concept of a man using certain terms with a woman he just met.  I accept it more if it was coming from a man who's known me for some time and who's experiences me in circumstances to see my true beauty.

Why does it seem like he wants to rush knowing me?
Everything takes time and knowing that I do not have a lot of it to pass around, it may take a man longer to know me and if he is truly interested, he'll keep a steady pace.

Why does he feel offended when I am not giving him attention?
If he believe that I am not seeing him for 'him', then don't try to force it upon me.  My life was just fine before I met him and will more likely be fine after he has revealed himself to be an impatient man.  Don't create an issue because I chose to spend some of me free space with people whom have already taken the time to know me.  The exit is over there. ­čá×­čá×

I need to be comfortable with a man's aura before allowing him to get any closer to me.  Now of course I do not make it very easy on men but, do you really want and cherish what is "easy?

**There has only been one unique incident where I met a man and we continued to converse on a consistent basis shortly after meeting but, that was only one occurrence and for whatever reason, our personalities just blended well which ignited a genuine friendship, so he gets a pass and can reach me more frequently than others.  Have a problem with it? Take it up with the Universe.

So, with all this being said, there is not very many men who have kept interest in me.  And it can be fair to say that they decided to move on and find a woman whom is more receptive than I am for which, I wish them all the love and happiness that I was not able to give to them.


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