Lover vs. Husband

Lover vs. Husband


The word "boyfriend" is not in my personal dictionary.  You are either a lover or a husband.  A lover can become a husband and a husband is also a lover. 

The term, Lover, is just my fancy way of saying "friends with benefits"...high emphasis on the 'friends' part.   There's not been many lovers in my repertoire mainly because I did not see good enough qualities within many men I came across.  That's not to say they weren't any good, I just didn't feel they were good for me and I shut out a man very quickly if I don't even see friendship qualities within him.



I will admit, after getting over my failed relationship of many years, I toyed with a few men; used them for my pleasure and quickly discarded them.  I didn't want to know a lot about them and I didn't want them to know a lot about me.  As I stopped doing that, I started getting into the dating scene for a very short period of time, during which, I realized I didn't know what I wanted in a relationship but, I didn't want anything similar to my last one so, I closed myself off.

I subsequently developed my standard of a Lover.  He isn't just a friend with a benefit; he has potential for longevity with me if I see the right characteristics but, he still doesn't get husband privileges.  My definition on that is not very clear since my experience with this ideal is very minimal and certain circumstances may allow for certain privileges but, not just any man can be my lover and just because he is a friend doesn't automatically give him more opportunity to any closer to me.  It's not only the physical intimacy that makes the difference, there must be equal parts of mental intimacy.  If I only wanted to have sex, then I'd just revert back to what I was doing several years ago and have my pick of the litter but, that is not appealing to me any longer.

I now require more.  

I am NOT here and available for every man who thinks I'm pretty.  If he is going to be a benefit, then he needs to be a benefit in many ways.  And if I decide I don't want any kind of future with a man, I am merciless when eliminating him out of my life as if he never existed...No, not my best quality but, I really don't owe him anything.

If a man does happen to become my Lover and is able to keep that moniker for more than 6 months to a year without losing momentum on either side, then he is a GREAT man and could eventually be my husband because he was extremely patient with me and saw what I wasn't willing to see...He'd still have to make the first move and be the one to lead us into a relationship though.

I'm worth the trouble, right? 😊😁

- Love Raya

Don't get excited about the hat, I lost a challenge.


EMAIL: xoxo.rayal@gmail.com



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Comments

Shakeem Durden said…
What if someone meets you and they instantly fall in love with you, (you)meaning your personality and mind. How do they express how they feel to about u to u... cuz I met you the other day at Mardi Gras and you been on my mind every since. Like I don't know u that well but I am very intrigued. I too have had committed relationships that ended abruptly and I am guilty of using the woman afterwards for pleasure and entertainment as well. But meeting your opened eyes other possibilities... (LOVE). I just hope the feeelings mutual. HMU whenever. 6094335662.... PS: THE WATER GUY lol

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