April 24, 2017

Sometimes We Don't Know

Okay, so I do a lot of sh*t talking about men...but not really since I do make an attempt to defend you sometimes...SOMETIMES...

This post is for you, Fellas!


I was conversing with a gentleman and he was telling me of a story about a lady friend whom he invited to his home for a gathering.  Several people stayed over, including the lady friend, and the next morning the guys got up to do some cleaning and prepare breakfast.  The young lady did not partake.  When she woke up, she approached some of the men and said, "Where's my food?"

I can see where her statement came off the wrong way since I was told one of the guys snapped back at her.

She was a guest, yes, but, when interacting with a man and a group of his friends, it's not the best to have a demanding attitude where a woman feels she needs to be catered to by those around her; it may not be received well with certain personalities.  I do not know this woman and possibly in her defense, she did not know the protocol. Or, who knows?, she expected someone to come to her with a plate of food and became irritated when it did not happen.  Or, it could have been a misunderstanding and she was just joking with her statement. 

Just like some men do not know unless it is explained to them, women can be the same way.  Not every woman is accommodating, not every woman automatically knows how to behave in certain situations.  Again, the woman in the story was a guest, she may have figured that it was not her responsibility to assist with cleaning or cooking.

I've been around this group of gentleman before; when they put together something, they are very accommodating to their guests.  So, maybe the young lady thought the men were going to do as they normally do.  Yet, I've witness enough with this group to know that any woman involved with any of these gentleman needs to be just as catering.

Top - Express | Skirt - Nordstrom

Sometimes a woman gets it, sometimes she doesn't.  When I am invited to a gathering where one or more of my friends is the host, I automatically accept that I am also a partial host, even if I am not asked to be.  Last time I was at my girlfriends house for a birthday brunch, I helped with bringing food and cleaning up afterwards.  No one asked me to do so, I just wanted to alleviate some of the work off my friend.  Not every woman person knows or thinks to do this. 

So let's be fair, there are some times that a woman does NOT know what to do, whether because she was not taught, told, or has not conditioned herself to do so.  And if a man feels it is important for a woman to know particular behaviors, he should be able to communicate this to her in a way that it is not attacking her character and a way she can understand his perspective.

- Love Raya

EMAIL: xoxo.rayal@gmail.com


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