High Expectations

If my topics are becoming redundant, it's because people keep doing the same things, so I have to keep these thoughts in rotation....


Never be the woman who demands a man to think about her ⚠.

We tend to create expectations for people we barley know.  We expect them to be considerate of our feelings.  We expect them to reach out to us often.  We expect them to make time for us.  Why?  What if this person does not want the same things or have the same plans?  What do you want that is opposed to what he or she wants? What did you misinterpret? 

Sometimes it's not the men, it's the women who have premeditated expectations or demands of him. (Yes, my sisters, we must take some blame for our heartache.)

The only expectation I have of a man is for him to be a man per his own definition. 🔀: Then it is my discretion to accept the man as he is because I refuse to invest time into changing someone who has his own thoughts and plans. ⛔: Unless you are already committed to one another and both identify that things need to change, the "We need to talk" can fall on deaf ears.  ℹ : And the list that you want to discuss, go over, and revisit is probably last on his mind, he may entertain it but, it's not his focus. Especially, if he has many things going on in his life that doesn't require you.

Overcoat - Forever21 | Dress & Sunglasses - Nordstrom

Many incidences result to: She says they're dating but, he says they're just hanging out. She is more involved than he.  Pay attention to your perspective in conjunction with his.

 I have discussed with several friends about their experienced and I never just look at their side of the story.  I consider the other the possibilities of their thoughts or feelings and my response is not always in favor of my friends.

You shouldn't have to ask "What are we?" (I've only ever asked that once. I was 18 then.)  A man who knows what he wants or doesn't want will make it clear.  And if things aren't transparent, he may still be figuring out parts of his life, you can chose to hang on or you can continue your life unaffected.  And if you can subdue your 'crazy' then you can do both.

The only time I had certain expectations of a man was when it was clear that we were in a relationship and had plans to grow together.  And friends who knew me through this part of my life knew I went through the hell and high water! 📉😤


- Love Raya

EMAIL: xoxo.rayal@gmail.com



SN:  I am not ashamed to say that many of my pictures are filtered, background blurred, blemishes faded, color adjusted, etc.  So when people give me compliments, many times, my instant response is, "Thank you but, I don't wake up like this."  Social media has allowed us to live under tainted glass.  Every now and then, I like to show photos without my 'mask' and usually on the weekends I do leave the house au naturale.
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