I love you, but....

I'd like to be with someone I enjoy sharing my life with but, also leaves me alone most of the time.

Over recent years I've created my own space which I love.  This doesn't mean I am not willing to open my time to someone, he just needs to be open to who I am.

No, I'm not planning to gallivant with many men or hoe myself around.  I don't even do that now.  No, I will be loyal to him and as accommodating to our relationship as we see comfortable for one another.

In a marriage, you are still TWO separate people coming together as a union.  You are not becoming ONE person.  My needs are just as important as yours.  Do not make a decision about our household or our family without my input or even considering my input.  Do not feel that what you say or think holds more weight than what I say or think.  

Just because a woman may take her husband's last name does not mean he has the only say.  He is the leader, yes but, even a good leader listens to his community.  I want my husband to confide in me, take comfort with me, ask for my advice, listen to my sorrows, ease my pain, and not walk away from me.  One of the biggest heartaches you can feel is feeling alone when your are not supposed to be.

My next relationship will be a bit more challenging because not only have I grown from a young mindset, I am also bringing 2 children in the mix and if he has any, then we will definitely need to discuss how to blend our families.  For the most part, I expect it to be trial and error but, if he and I want it to work then we will see through any and all errors for the sake of love.

I went back and read a post I published in 2015 about what I don't want from a man, my list remains the same today.

Things I will not accept from a man before he has potential to become my husband. 
  • While dating, he does not invite me to places outside his home - No explanation necessary.
  • He does not give me my space - We are individuals, I will already have things in place that I must tend to without him. Don't be disgruntled about it.
  • He is controlling - We both have thoughts and opinions, he should be open to mine as I am open to his.
  • He is needy - I will cater to the one I am involved with but, I will not be at his every beckoned call. If you knew how to take care of yourself before me, then the benefit of me is to assist, not to assume all your needs.
  • His truth is not his real truth - He can tell me anything, I have no reason not to believe him until he gives me a reason, just do not sugar coat anything.
  • He does not know how to be around children - If my kids don't like him, neither do I.
  • He is not personable - I am social, if we are out, he cannot be on the wall
  • He does not plan for ANYTHING - I am a planner, especially when it comes to events, surprises, trips, night outs, etc. I do not want to have to do this all the time.
  • He is not money conscious - I work hard to maintain financial stability, he will not hinder that for me or expect me to finance BOTH our lives.
  • He cannot cook - I cook, he should too.
  • He does not like or understand my wayward humor - I say things that may be inappropriate just for laughs, if you take offense, then he will never understand me.
  • He does not make me laugh - Don't be a bummer.
  • You were not my friend first - The foundation starts here, don't try to skip over this.

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