September 12, 2017

You Don't Go Together.

Just because you are "talking" to someone, doesn't mean you go together...


Ladies, if he has not asked you to be his girlfriend and you have not agreed,  you don't go together! Yes, it's like a marriage proposal, the man asks and the woman says yes or no...I'm pretty sure I've said this many, MANY, times in previous posts.

He can tell you he likes you.
He can tell you how good of a woman you are.
He can tell you that he really depends on you.
He can tell you that you're not like other women.
He can tell you he's not seeing anyone. 
He can even tell you he loves you.
BUT, if he has not asked you to be his lady, YOU. DON'T. GO. TOGETHER.

It doesn't matter if you had/have sex with him or if he seems like the type who doesn't sleep around, YOU. STILL. DON'T. GO. TOGETHER.

Related image

Look, I was once the woman who took many things a man said to me and ran with it. 
Yeah, he wants to be with me, he's just figuring things out right now.
No, we're really together or dating, it's just complicated.
Yeah, he really does like me, he just doesn't know how to express himself. 

LIFE LESSON: Don't run with scissors.


Here are some more signs that you don't go together...interchangeable to men and women.

When you make it known you are having a bad day or having a rough week and (s)he doesn't check up on you or if (s)he does but, doesn't follow up.  - I'm guilty of this. I may initially express my concern, but that's it, I rarely check back for an update. BECAUSE I DON'T GO WITH ANYONE.

(S)He doesn't respond to your calls or texts. - I'm guilty again. I'll read a message and never answer or respond days later, no matter who is reaching out to me and BECAUSE I DON'T GO WITH ANYONE.

(S)He doesn't make an effort to make plans with you or spend valuable time with you. - Busy is busy but, you make time for those you want to keep in your life; I may move my schedule around for someone, but until he officially asks me, I DON'T GO WITH ANYONE.

So people, let's do our best to avoid girl/boyfriend emotions when you weren't even allowed that position.  Also hear this, If you are not legitimately in a committed relationship with someone and your feeling get hurt, that is YOUR issue not his/hers.

Committed Relationship = Two people agree that they are exclusive and working towards combining their lives and making a future together.

And don't expect your non boy/girlfriend to come coddle you or be interested in "we need to talk" or "I need closure." WTF do you want to talk about?  WTF do you need closure for?  This ain't Oprah or Dr. Phil.  

It's like you putting your food in someone's refrigerator and you tell the person he can have it if he wants it.  You're hoping that he sees this act of generosity and will return the favor with equal affections but, instead he eats all the food, says "thank you" and then leaves the dishes in the sink for you to wash, because c'mon, you will do what you can to show this person you belong there.  And now you get upset and want to have a dramatic sit down to talk about it because you feel slighted.  WHY? You created this scenario!

**In some defenses, people don't automatically see the error of their way unless it is brought to their attention but, let's not hang too heavily on this notion since he's not your boyfriend. He's just someone who is in that gray area that you want to crossover with, instead of just letting it be and allowing him to filter himself into that role or filter himself out of your life.**

But hey, what do I know, I'm just a single broad who loves my space and doesn't require much attention.  Just feed me and tell me I'm pretty every now and then.

Learn to control your own emotions, or better yet, STOP trying to coax someone into wanting to be part of your future.

You can boohoo all you want to...

Image result for it's not fair gif

and he may entertain some of your tears but, if you are not his woman...

Image result for i don't know you gif

Some people, mostly men, already do not do well with emotions, so if you start with the water works, don't expect a clear and concise resolution.

Honesty Moment: I am not the friend you should cry to if you have a broken heart.  I'm going to point the finger to YOU, and ask you what you did to get yourself in this mess. Now if everything you tell me directly points fault to the other person then, yes, I'll coddle your hurt feelings but until then, I'm scrutinizing YOU.

Sorry, a little harsh but, sometimes I have to give you guys some tough love.  Com'ere, and read this quote below...

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." - Gandhi

Gandhi | Hermann Park's McGovern Centennial Gardens

And yes, my friends get this same verbiage from me when they do silly shit and get their emotions wrapped up in a man who's not their boyfriend.

EMAIL: xoxo.rayal@gmail.com


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September 4, 2017

#RaisingMom

My eldest and I have began to embark on a new journey of Vlogging (video blogging).  We already have mother/daughter talks and family discussions but, we want to record some of our small conversations to show the world that it is not only the parent who is raising the child; it is equally the child raising the parent!

Below is one of our recent clips...



My daughter is not playing with you men!

Her attitude is very much like mine, "There is just no use for them." This may be a credit to her reading my blog posts, Yes, she reads them and ALL the comments connected to them.  (Also, please know that all my posts are public and anyone can read the content.)

Sometimes my little butterfly gets the impression that I am seeing someone because of my wording...or because of some of the comments 😑.  She has yet to learn how I really am with men and learn to read deeper into my opinions...which is why I tell her not to read my stuff since she still does not fully understand my way of thinking. 

Although, in her defense...I have the children I want, I have my own income, I provide where I am responsible to, I live how I like, and the kids have more than they need, so what can a man do?

(Insert innocent looks of direct questioning.)


Yes, you can give me the argument that he can add more to our lives, True and I agree but, any man who is open and willing to give must also be open and willing to understand and be patient.

For example, if I were to come across "Mr. Right" next week and we begin to form an exclusive romantic affair...say he lives in another city, has stable finances/income, comfortable environment or living arrangements, no drama with past relationships, family oriented, wants a marriage, and asks me to relocate...

I most likely will not have an issue with his request but, he will have to be patient and understand...I will not uproot my kids in the middle of a school year.   I will not relocate if I cannot find suitable employment.  I will not make any major changes if I cannot secure myself to be his equal partner and not just his "obedient wife".  Don't get me wrong, I know my place as a wife but, my husband or potential husband needs to be my biggest supporter and stand by me as I will surely stand by him.

Until then, Houston is where we will be...

Sam Houston Monument | Memorial Park | W. RL Media


EMAIL: xoxo.rayal@gmail.com


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September 3, 2017

Storm Stop, Recovery Start

Well America, you were able to see another tragedy on this land, a tragedy given to us by Mother Nature. At the end of the storm, I found myself avoiding the news; avoiding social media.  I did not want to see the pictures of videos.  Whether the images were of people being saved or of people looking onto their loss, I could not see it anymore.  



I struggled with feeling compassion for Texas mixed with my own guilt for not losing anything.  

Yet, may people are still in good spirits.  Many companies, state programs, government entities, and civilians have come together to aid in the restoration of Houston and neighboring cities. 


After the rain stopped, I spoke with my daughter...


W. RL Media Productions

Those who want to help, it is not hard to search for a charity or nonprofit to donate money or items.  Even when I logon to my Amazon account, there is a flashing banner to donate.  Don't feel you cannot help because "you don't know who to give to". Just do it.  With many resources given to us by the world wide web, there is no reason someone cannot find the information they need to help.

Giving is more of a characteristic trait, not trend for attention and acknowledgement.

EMAIL: xoxo.rayal@gmail.com


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August 28, 2017

We See You HARVEY | Mid Update

Thank you friends and family who have reached out in concern.  My family and I are safe.  It has been devastating to witness what is occurring in front of us.  I've reached out to volunteer groups to offer my assistance but, I cannot even get to anywhere that needs help because sections of the town are blocked off due to high water on the roads.

All I can do at this moment is donate.

TEXAS RED CROSS

Hurricane Harvey is not exiting without leaving these scars...


Photo | IG: htownfinest9

Photo by | IG gallo_potosino

Photo by | Unknown

Photo by | Unknown

These are only few of MANY tragedies all throughout Houston and surrounding areas.  Vehicles, Highways, and Homes damaged or completely submerged under water.  Families having to run to their attics and on their roofs for safety.  Some have been waiting countless hours for a rescue team. AND THERE IS MORE RAIN TO COME!

The rain started Friday night with heavier rains following, not giving any grace to those already in need of help.  But, what I MUST HIGHLIGHT is how DOPE people have been by coming together to get this city above water.  Residents, people from other cities, even other states came through!





There is some ridicule from onlookers about people not choosing to leave...

(Some petty humor for you.)
Critics: You should have left before the hurricane.
Houston: Yeah, you should have left that bi**h who keeps cheating on you, spending your money, and driving your car around while you were at work, but here we are!

Here is my real opinion for the critics: 


Where do you want 2+ million (with surrounding areas = 6+ million) people to go all at once? Highways would have been crowded leading to nowhere and putting even more people at risk.  There was no predicting the storm but, many of us prepared to STAY.

Critics are welcome to get in their boats, put on their rain boots and assist, either way we're not awaiting your assistance. You don't know these roads, the small pockets of the city, the algorithms of the highways, and the psychology of the residents. All you know is that you don't want to be a part of this.


As more reports come out and more pictures are shared, you'll see those who didn't evacuate helping neighbors, strangers and other Houstonians who are in desperate need.

Many people volunteered their equipment and time. Some traveled from neighboring states/cities, some are local residents, all with the same goal, SAVE THE PEOPLE.

Consider this...
1. Not everyone has the resources to leave. 
2. Some people stayed to assist those who are grounded here.
3. To over crowd the highways of panicked people is just as dangerous.
4. See 1-3
5. Whatever the reason they had to stay is a personal choice they took.

We don't judge. We do what we can with our powers.



We are HOUSTON strong and we WILL continue to get through this.


EMAIL: xoxo.rayal@gmail.com


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August 25, 2017

Hello HARVEY

I moved to Houston a few years after Ike graced its face through Clutch City.  My father and siblings were already here and dealt with the madness.  No power for almost 2 weeks and many of their neighbors evacuated but, my father is so stubborn, he stayed and manned his home. Daddy is also armed and can be dangerous if need be, so I did not worry too much.



Photo Location | Houston Heights

This year, my kids and I get to meet Harvey.  The news reports are calling it  Category 3 Hurricane. 👀😧😨

With my father's directive, I fueled my car.  A gas station around my house was giving away free gas!  Of course there were lines and police patrolling.  I opted to drive a little further from the highway and fueled up.

**Below is a helpful list to prepare for severe weather.**


School districts decided to close down today (Friday, August 25th) allowing families adequate time to prepare for the weather.  The rain is currently sprinkling here and there.  This may just be a heavy rain storm for us which means flooding in the lower parts of the city, not my area, but if we must, I am all the way prepared to leave town for a few days.

Stay safe to all those on Harvey's radar!

Next post will be an update after the storm passes.


Disaster Check List:
  • Fuel your car
  • Stock up on clean drinking water and dry snacks - do this a few days early because many times everything will be gone when you reach the stores. Same with gas stations. 
  • Flashlight with extra batteries
  • First Aid Kit
  • Towels and/or blankets
  • Pack some comfortable clothes and toiletries, just in case you need to evacuate or leave town
  • Make a plan on where you will head if you do need to leave home
  • Have some cash on you, $50-$100
  • With children, prepare an activity kit (books, crayons, board games etc.), for car travel, get DVD players you can mount on the headrest and car chargers for their electronics.
  • Have extra chargers and charger banks for your electronic devices 

What to put in your overnight/weekender bag: *I always have one in my car with these items
  • Sweats or leggings
  • T-shirts and a sweater or light jacket
  • Comfy shoes
  • Extra undergarments 
  • Bathroom items (toothbrush, paste, floss, mouthwash, hair ties/pins, travel shampoo/conditioner, facial wash, q-tips, wash cloths, lotion, nail clippers, tweezers, small hair brush, feminine products) - You ca get all these items in the personal care section at Target or Walmart, maybe even the dollar store.
  • Travel Blanket - like the ones we used to get offered on airplanes 

And because I'm a nerd, I always have these items stored away in my car somewhere:
  • Lint brush
  • Wet wipes
  • Flash light
  • Tool kit
  • First Aid Kit
  • Towel
  • Small trash bags
  • Folding lawn chair
  • Ponchos
  • Umbrella

EMAIL: xoxo.rayal@gmail.com


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