Thankful & Blessed

“Here I am, humbled and extremely grateful.”

On the eve of Thanksgiving, I want to take a moment and express how thankful I am of how my life has played out and thankful for all of you who keep this platform thriving and entertaining. There’s many of you who ask me to share more of my personal life, although I do share tidbits of it, I still want to remain private about the extra details of my life. I have seen where people overshare their lives and become stressed or overwhelmed when people add in their opinions or judgements. Like people who are constantly sharing what they are doing or where they are every moment like it’s a reality show, I have no plans to ever do that. This website is just a small, but impactful portion of my life.

Other things going on that I am thankful for:

  • My kids are continuing to do well in school and in their own personality developments. Both are clever and very quick-witted. They mirror my humor, but have their own funny vernacular and I do not worry about them being not being personable, kind and thoughtful of others.

  • I have 1 1/2 more years until I complete my doctoral program. The studies do take up much of my headspace and free time, but once I reach this goal, I have huge personal and professional plans.

  • Since I have been hyper-focus on my academics and career, I do not have any romantic drama. Although, I think the men who have met me this year would say I am cold and too nonchalant. (Which makes sense, because I am very clear that I am not looking for a partner. Maybe just someone who makes me laugh and is good company when I have the time, but no one who will make me feel like I need to cater my life to him.)

  • Speaking if academics and career, my personal business aligns with both practices and is beginning to thrive. I am excited to see what it becomes in the next few years.

  • My investment portfolios (not just stocks) have also allowed me to live even more comfortably than what I planned, but I still want to remain low-key in what I show people because I know people have their own opinions on what “Success” looks like. For me, it’s being able to not worry about if I can provide for myself and my family and also being able to give back to different communities, organizations, charities, and foundations.

  • My friends who understand that my limited availability does not mean there’s a problem in our friendship. I have such a wonderful group of friends who are completely okay when I cannot make an outing or event with them, because they know when I do come out, it’s unforgettable.

  • My health and well being is a major thing I am thankful for. I’ve had struggles with my health in previous years which contributed to my stress levels bing very high and worrying about other aspects of my life. This year I seem to have managed things a lot better. My heart, my mood, and my overall thought process is just so much more at a positive and progressive place. I’d consider that amazing GROWTH!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!


The next few topics I am finishing up are:

  1. Why Are More Straight Men Behaving Like Women

    • In these topic I am going to share some of the women’s thoughts about what they have been experiencing with men and noticing some feminine characteristics. Nothing like self-care practices like going to the spa, but more like personality traits that just raise a few eyebrows.

  2. Don’t Bash Someone’s Wins in Life

    • Have you ever noticed when people make snide comments about someone for their accomplishments? Maybe making comments like, “Oh she thinks she’s fancy with her Gucci bag.” Or “He acts like he’s too good now since he got that new high paying job.” Maybe you’ve made comments like this? We’ll talk about the issues of being this way towards people and how it can reveal your own insecurities or flaws.

  3. A Helpful Man

    • I love a man who just helps without having to ask. I’ll detail examples of family, friends and previous lovers in this topic.

  4. Pain

    • In life there is no avoiding pain or disappointment. This one may be a heavy and triggering topic, but we’ll get through it.

Be safe everyone. 🙏🏽


This are not my messages, but this woman is going through some nonsense! Lol. Be safe out there!

January Summary

“Come with love and peace or leave needing it.”

WHEW…I don’t know about you guys, but this month has been A LOT! I hit the ground running on the first of the month and have not stopped yet! Plus we talked about a lot of topics in the last few weeks, wouldn’t you agree? I don’t think I have ever wrote this much in one month. I cannot promise it will continue to be like this, my Spring term is heavily centered around reading and research, so I may have a period of quietness, but don’t fret, I am never gone too long.

I also want to welcome the 800 new readers here, I don’t know what caught your interest to this site, but I am so happy you chose to be here and read or listen to all this madness. THANK YOU! For those of you who are new, I’m Raya. I developed this site in 2008. I write about topics pertaining to love, relationships, how to best navigate through them and to not lose yourself in the process. Many times I reference my own experiences, but I never get too personal.

The Effort Series

I listen to my church sermons online now, but when I used to go in person, I really made sure I was presentable.

I’ve already got a few topics set aside for February such as identifying the types of relationship you want vs. the types of relationship you get into and how you include other people into your relationship. For instance if people are always around you and getting involved into your personal details, then it’s their relationship too 🤷🏽‍♀️😆. I am also going to talk about the suggestion one of you readers gave me about my own love life…that’s going to be an interesting topic. Plus, are you guys zodiac people? Meaning you follow hard on what your birth sign is and how it relates to your future and the type of person you are? I’m not. Although, I do have friends like that and I do listen intently, I’m just not a full believer. One of my friends sent me a zodiac compatibility based on my sign, which I thought was very interesting and that’s going to be another topic. So yeah, February is mapped out it seems. Any of you have Valentine’s Day plans? I think I may do a spa day, wine and dine myself with a fancy dinner (there is the one resturant called Evnaglines that people keep telling me about, but I have yet to go to. I wonder if I’ll need a reservation if it’s just me…Hey, I have no shame in have dinner by myself. I enjoy my own company and that’s why I think the “Single” life with an understanding and caring lover-friend will work best for me), and maybe I’ll book a night at a local hotel. We’ll see.

Happy February everyone!


Message From Raya L.

Hello All,

I first want to say how much I appreciate those of you who have been with me from the start even before Instagram, Facebook, and even MySpace. — All of you still come here to read my topics. You all are so DOPE.

Over the years, I’ve received an abundance of emails from people telling me how my words helped them through certain times and how my “voice” was a jumping off point to begin a new journey. You have no idea how much that means to me.

Let’s clear up some things. As public as my website is and as much as I may share about my thoughts, I have boundaries that I do not cross when revealing myself or parts of my life. You’ve notice I don’t give too much details about my kids, right? And I never disclose any company I am in business with unless it is a collaborative agreement. Any photos you see are in public areas; never sharing my private residences. Lastly, if I am ever referring to someone, I never state their names. Just because I created a public platform, doesn’t mean everyone else around me signed up for it, meaning I have a respect for the privacy of others. Anytime I share my stories, it is from the prospective of me and although I poke fun of my poor decisions here and there, I make a point to also speak on how I overcame it. It’s no secret my family are major Eagles fans, I like to eat, take photos, have two children, a failed marriage and that I had to start my life over in my mid-20’s, but what is mainly kept secret is all the things my loved ones and I do when we are together and spending quality time.

“Be the change you wish to see in the world.” - Gandhi

“Be the change you wish to see in the world.” - Gandhi

What I share is only a glimpse into my life. I prefer it that way. You may see many people on public platforms who share every detail about their days, that will never be me for several reasons:

  1. This is not my main source of income

  2. I don’t want everyone in my business or involved in my life

  3. I prefer privacy over popularity

As far as many of you inquiring about my love interest, that part of my life will definitely remain away from the public eye. If I am ever seen with someone, we may or may not be together; and the only people who will know is our family, friends, people who are actually around us, and whomever we decide to tell.

Again, I appreciate all of you for taking time to be here with me and as always, stay positive and be good to others.

Love,

Raya L.